Daddy - by Travis Simpkins, age 20, Fulton County Jail, Atlanta

Daddy – by Travis Simpkins, age 20, Fulton County Jail, Atlanta

“I’d like to think that I’ll be a better father, that I have learned from Dad’s mistakes. On most days I can buy that. But there are times when I look in the mirror and see who I’ve become, and think of who he’s always been, and I’m not so sure. You can’t pick up a newspaper without reading of the nightmare that is child abuse, or how alcohol is ripping families apart. I see these articles and feel a little foolish for my anger. My father was neither abusive nor alcoholic. He was simply absent.

Dad always did love me. He still does – or so he says on the rare occasions when we catch one another on the phone. He had his priorities when I was young, and now I have mine. I’m in jail, and my primary concern is my trial. I’m sure he understands. I always did.

I don’t remember much of him in the early days except that he was my hero. I recall stories I sued to tell the other kids about an important and powerful man. He used to fly in on a moment’s notice. I’d see him for a few precious hours. Then he was gone.

Such is the innocence of youth that when he called, always a few weeks after Christmas or my birthday, and told me that the package I had never received must have gotten lost in the mail, I believed him wholeheartedly. Until I was 13 or 14 years old, I was afraid to mail a letter for fear that the same fate would befall it.

The road from realization to acceptance is a lot longer than it looks. I’ve been on it for the past 5 years, and I’m not all that far from where I started. My father and I have a hard journey ahead of us, provided we can find the time. There is sorrow in his voice when we discuss the past, and I know that if he had it to do over, he’d do his best to do it right. Second chances are few, and it’s much easier to do it right the first time.

My dad loved me as only a father can love a son. I don’t question that. But he was also self-centered and let me down when I needed him most. A part of me will always be that kid at the window waiting and waiting with his nose pressed against the glass; knowing that if Dad said he was coming, he was coming; but waking up curled beneath the window, alone.

I love my father, but looking in the mirror sometimes I get a little scared. We are just so much alike. Father’s Day is just a few months away. There are a lot of kids thinking about their hero’s and a lot of hero’s thinking about their kids. Probably there are many kids who don’’ see too much of Dad. If I’’ lucky, a handful of those fathers are reading this. Your kids will love you whether you make it or not; that is the nature of being a hero. But maybe you should take time to consider how important whatever else you have planned is. We do grow up fast. Just ask my dad, or better yet, ask yours.”

Signed – Travis Simpkins, age 20, Fulton County Jail, Atlanta.

And so we see the end result of another failed father. The sad tale of another man who refused to follow God’s plan for the family, the fruit that came to another man who never knew heaven in the home.

How to Be a Father in 4 Easy Steps

Patreon

Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

Just Click  on the Patreon Logo to go to Patreon and start receiving exclusive material from Manly Training.



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

God wanted me to Come Home too - by Dave Moore

God wanted me to Come Home too – by Dave Moore

The Sin Of A Father

Growing up!
Growing up!

I grew up in the 60’s and it was a great time to grow up. We played outside endlessly. My father worked afternoons and with school all day I didn’t see him a whole lot. There were six of us kids and my mom worked tirelessly to take care of us and always gave us tremendous love. Alcoholism in our family was a dirty secret that our family lived with for a long time. My father was not only a casual drinker but also a binge drinker. As children we witnessed our father many times slapping and hitting my mom until she was bloody. It forever affected all of us profoundly.

I Was Angry

For many years as a young adult I too was a binge drinker and an angry drunk. It didn’t pexels-photo-274192.jpegtake long after my first drink that I wanted to fight someone and usually it was for no reason. Although I had a hatred for anyone raising a hand against a woman I took my anger out on men. Bar fights, road rage, you name it I probably did it.

In my late 20’s my son was born and when he was 1-1/2 years old I took custody of him and began raising him as a single father. I wanted to love my son in a way that my father never loved me. I wanted to be there for every school event, sports game, and protect him from the world. So I became obsessed and over protective in such a way that he was not being allowed to actually be in control of his own life. I was also still having anger issues and had become a “my way or the highway” type of parent. We need to find a balance in everything we do.

I Was Destroying My Son

 

I don’t believe that my dad set out to be the father that he became nor did I. But, my behavior towards my son was destructive in its own way.

Then one day my son, a college freshman, disappeared. We had no idea where he was and why he had left. My father had died a few years earlier and it was very hard. The thought of losing a child is indescribable. It is a parent’s worst nightmare. Had the sins of my father turned me into a father that had caused this? And what of my own sins? Can I blame them on my father and not accept responsibility for them?

God Saved Me

pexels-photo-576926.jpegAfter a cross-country search for my son without any success I came to the end of myself and cried out to God for help. God gave me a miracle. He came into my heart and saved me. A wave of forgiveness and love poured over me that you cannot understand unless you have experienced it. I asked God to forgive everyone that had ever hurt me including my father. I asked God to forgive me for everyone that I had ever hurt.

God through revelation and His word began to teach me how to be a better father and a better man. I am still not the man I want to be but thank God I am not the man I used to be. What I also realized through my surrender was that not only was I looking for my son to come home but God was looking for me to come home too.

I Will Not Die Without Him

My father and mother both received the free gift of salvation through Christ before they died as has my whole family. Jesus died that the sins of a father and everyone else can be forgiven by simply asking Him and accepting Him as our Savior. Christ gives me love, hope, and direction. Not only can I not live without Him, I will not die without Him either.

  • Dave Moore

DaveMoore_Small

Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

We Won’t Change, I Promise.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

How to Be a Father in 4 Easy Steps

How to Be a Father in 4 Easy Steps

As Father’s day approaches, I want to encourage everyone following this website  to be a great father, a faithful husband and a Godly man. This is why Manly Training has an annual tribute to fathers that starts the day after Mother’s Day and runs through Father’s day! For the next 6 weeks you will be reading encouraging stories about fatherhood! It matters not if you are a man or a woman, these stories will touch your life in ways that I am sure will bless you like you had no idea! Please, share them with your friends and family.

With this in mind, how can a man become a father? Well, without getting into much detail, the natural and biological way to become a father is simple. Any healthy male can procreate children, but being a dad is a whole different story! It’s one thing to make babies and whole different “enchilada” to father them. Let’s take a look at what God says about this.

God created man in his image and one of the attributes of God is that of a father.  I continually remind dads that we share one of God’s most precious attributes. That of a father! This is an amazing responsibility and one that we must not take lightly.  So, How do fathers build a firm foundation of character and a positive relationship with their children?

1. Loving Kindness

“… a gentle tongue can break a bone”
(Proverbs 25:15)

In other words dads – there is great strength in gentleness. Do you show the same courtesy towards your kids that you expect from them? Can you praise your kids without adding anything negative – like, “Great job with the dishes tonight – pity your room’s such a mess”? How about your discipline – is it firm AND loving – or just firm? Do you discipline your children in front of others? Do you hug your kids regularly (If you don’t they will find someone who will!!) Are you quick to go to their aid when there’s a genuine need?

Dad’s, your words and acts of loving-kindness today will build confidence in your sons and daughters. They will have the confidence to attempt anything if they know your love, acceptance and gentle protection of them is assured no matter what.

2. Laughter

Dad’s when was the last time you laughed with your children – instead of at them?

There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless– a miserable business! (Ecclesiastes 4:8)

Dad’s if you’re always work, always discipline, always orders, always serious – then your kids are missing something very important. And you may well be missing the enjoyment of watching your kids grow up – and so you may end up a very lonely man.

Playtime is a big part of being a child and unless you can get into it dad’s, you’re cut right out of a huge part of your child’s life. Play sport with them. Discover which leisure things you like to do together and get into it.

3. Learning

Dad’s it’s no secret that most teachers – at least at Primary school level – are women. And for the most part I’m sure they’re doing a fantastic job. But even our Education Department recognises that more men are needed as teachers in our primary schools. What does this tell us? It tells us that it’s best for children to get a balanced learning input from both mom and dad. (It’s not always possible – but it’s best).

And the single most important lesson a father can teach his child – is why they are alive. Listen to these words from Ephesians 6:4 …..

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

A father that teaches his child to follow the Lord will save them from living the frustration of a wasted life.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Dad, you and your wife can teach your kids how things should would work – – or you can abdicate your responsibility and let your kids learn about life from their friends, the TV/internet and schools (That’s a frightening thought).

4. Listening

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19)

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise (Proverbs 10:19).

So often dads just want to be dispensers of information. But if that’s all communication is for you dad, then you have some extremely needy children. Especially if you have daughters, but I suspect sons are not much different in this department. Communication is about building a relationship – not just spewing out information.

And dad’s if you won’t listen to your sons or daughters, then they will keep searching until they find someone who will! Wouldn’t you much rather be that person?
It’s a tough job being a dad (or a mom for that matter). But you don’t have to do it on your own …

For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chronicles 16:9a)

If you are his – – then he is yours! Don’t complain that God is absent and not concerned about your life and plight as a Dad if you have never given him the time of day. Dad, if you are his, then he is yours – and he desires to make you the dad he created you to be.

.To the fatherless/husbandless; To the emotionally abandoned; To those dads without a good fatherly example to follow, the Lord is ….A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families
(Psalm 68:5-6)

My Father’s Legacy

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

We Won’t Change, I Promise.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

The Power of Presence

The Power of Presence

Long before I became a Dad, I had strong opinions about fathering. Perhaps it’s because I came along quite late in my father’s life. He was 47 years old.

To say I was a surprise would be an understatement! But, my Dad rose to the challenge! Like my sister and brother before me, I became his pride and joy. None of us ever doubted that for a minute.

That didn’t mean it was easy on my Dad. He worked long hours as a telephone company executive. He opened a business on the side just six months before I arrived on the scene. So, he often worked 18 hour days just to ensure that our family had all we needed.

But He Was There!

Somehow, my Dad found time to spend together as a family. Trips in the car became full-on adventures. I can still hear my Dad’s off-key voice singing above the sound of the big V-8 engine: “You are my sunshine. My only sunshine…”

I wish it could have lasted a lifetime. But this story is about real life, not some fairytale. My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer when I was 11. He fought long and hard, sacrificing himself to do whatever he could to stay with us.

An Amazing Dad

The year he died, my Dad went in to work 90 days when he should have been in the hospital–just to secure the pension he would leave my mother. He fought for life itself, but didn’t forget to share in ours. No matter how he felt, he made time to hear about the small events in our everyday lives.

Eventually, the aggressive cancer became too much. His body was wasting away, but his spirit remained strong. My Dad died soon after I turned 13. I stood by his bedside and watched him breath for the last time. The emptiness I felt remains hard to express.

For many years, I harbored an irrational anger toward my Dad and toward God.

My father wasn’t there for me as I made the journey into manhood. He wasn’t there when I had big moments like getting my driver’s license or a few months later when I crashed my first car into a home and wound up in deep trouble with the law. I often raged at him consumed by my grief as I navigated life alone.

Discovering Christ changed how I felt toward my Dad. Over time, I understood that my anger was a thoughtless, selfish response to my own grief. Dad wasn’t to blame. God wasn’t responsible for my loss. Death is a very real part of living in a broken world. Memories of my Dad sacrificing so much to be there for me began to replace those of the times I felt his loss most.

By the time I met my wife, I determined that no matter what, I would follow my Dad’s example and be there for my kids (if and when they came around). And come around they did! First a girl, then 5 years later a boy, 18 months later another boy and finally two years later, a baby girl! I was in the delivery room for every one!

Through the years, I learned just how tough it is to be present at the right moments.

I discovered that my sage advice wasn’t always welcomed… at least not at the time. But, looking back now over three plus decades, I know that like me, my children never once doubted that they are loved by God and by me.

So, in spite of being busy with my missions work, I’ve attended t-ball and soccer games, school concerts and award ceremonies. I’ve often scrapped together enough nickels and dimes to put whatever tools for success they needed in their hands at the time. I’ve told them how proud I am of their successes and that I didn’t hold their failings against them.

Being present meant modeling godly living so my kids learned what matters most.

It meant caring enough to parent them even though what I wanted to be was a friend. It meant saying, “I’m sorry!” when I blew it or caused them grief.

These days, presence poses a tougher challenge. Sometimes I’ve been separated by continents. Sometimes, I missed major life events by a matter of hours simply because I was traveling and couldn’t break away. Often though, I’ve managed to be there for the big moments.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned first as a Dad and now as a Grandfather, is that I don’t have to have all of the answers. As imperfect as I am, my kids know I care. They know that we’ve been together for the really big moments in their lives. They know they matter to me because I seldom miss an opportunity to tell them just that!

Now that my kids are adults, I find them trying hard to be present for

Family Road Trip
Family Road Trip

the important people in their lives. Sometimes they do great. Other times are more of a challenge. I don’t worry though, they’ve made being present a priority in their lives too.

There are still trips in the car that become full-on adventures.

My grandkids sometimes hear my off-key voice singing above the sound of the little V-6 engine: “You are my sunshine. My only sunshine…” Presence has become the legacy my Dad left me and the gift I’ll pass on.

Dr. Bill Hennessy is Director of Evangelism and Content at Network211’s Project 100Million. He has been an Assemblies of God pastor and missionary for 36 years. He is married with four children and three grandchildren. His website is: FindingHopeOnline.com.

The Discipline of Fatherhood

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

 

I Was A Tough Cookie - The Story or a World War II Father and the transformation that followed.

I was a Tough Cookie

Dad Pic_ Youngiungmn (1)My Dad was probably a typical World War II veteran; he didn’t talk much about the war, his feelings or about love. I knew he loved me by his personal actions in life, not by his words or physical affection. But, I still knew he cared deeply about me and loved me in the best way he could.

I was two years old when I first met my Dad coming home after the war. My Mom was pregnant when my Dad left for England, so the Dad I knew was a “photograph” on the piano. Later my Mom told me when he walked in the front door, I ran to the photograph on the piano when she asked where Dad was.

We Were Not Close

My Dad and I weren’t necessarily close. I don’t know if this was because we couldn’t bond when I was young and/or we didn’t connect closer because of his experiences in the war.

Our family went to Church but I wouldn’t say we were especially, a religious family. I don’t think my Dad had a personal relationship with Jesus. Whereas my Dad didn’t teach me about Faith, he “did teach me” about hard work, honesty and integrity.

The value of hard work, honesty and integrity is a powerful legacy and it helped me through many challenges, trials and troubles in my life’s journey. I wish he had not died so young. Had he lived longer, I believe his intelligence, counsel and guidance would have saved me from running into many brick walls and avoiding much pain and misery.

Who Am I?

My Dad’s name was Charles Marsh Bull. Since I was a “Jr.,” people called him “Charles” and called me “Marsh”. My Dad died just before my 34th birthday at 58 years old. I had to find my way in life without his counsel and support. I may have found my way, but it was not pretty and rather unpleasant.

My Dad did the best he could. Looking back, I wish he had led me in having more Faith in Jesus. With faith, I would have known eventually there will be light, no matter the “darkness of what you are going through”. Not knowing this, I experienced periods of loss hope, discouragement and depression. I endured lost marriages, job changes, physical issues and a feeling of never having peace in my life. The majority of the problems were caused by my own actions or lack of action.

Help this Tough Cookie!

I was working for IBM in Chicago going through another divorce and a new job working more than 12 hours a day. My lack of hope and sense of desperation caused me to reach out for help. My cry of hope was simply, “Help”. Immediately, I felt a “warm blanket of Love” cover my entire body, and I was instantly transformed by God’s Love for me.

I was a tough cookie, or thought I was, believing I could handle anything that came my way. By then, I had survived almost 20 years without my Father on earth and more than 30 years without my Father in Heaven. I didn’t understand God had been watching me the entire time and had never given up on me. He had been waiting patiently and answered my simple Prayer instantly.

I was Transformed

My personal transformation happened 21 years ago last September. I was so powerfully converted into God’s Kingdom; and I still get tears remembering that moment. I marvel that God cared about me even when I didn’t care myself. He loved me when I didn’t love myself. He knows the number of hairs on my head and He is awesome, revered and holy. Jesus is my Savior. My life changed forever when He heard and answered my prayer of Help.

I was transformed through God’s Love and my acceptance of Jesus as my Savior. Therefore, I was a changed man working to become a Godly Man. I continued to work in the corporate world but dreamed of someday mentoring other men through a men’s, “internet ministry”. For more than 10 years, I wrote about my personal life’s journey, developed Small Group Discussion Topics, created Men’s Bible Study Guides and founded a Men’s Group Foundation non-profit.

Thank you Dad

In January 2012, the web site for guys, www.mensgroup.org was launched. I am humbled by what God has achieved through this ministry and I have learned to trust Him fully. Currently more than 7,000 people visit our web site monthly and download an average of 500 free Bible Study Guides.

Writing this article, I realized my earthly Father “did guide me” through his actions and Mens Bible Study_011615personal character. Thank you, Dad. I am blessed my Heavenly Father waited for me, loved me, transformed me and saved me. Thank you, Jesus.

Marsh Bull                                                                                                                                          

Founder/President

Men’s Group Foundation, Inc.

Find Studies such as, “Men & Their Jobs”, “Facing Pain & Troubles” and “Christian Character’ on: http://www.mensgroup.org/

To help us reach MORE MEN please “Like” and “Share” our Facebook Page; https://www.facebook.com/mensgroupfoundation/


Episode 6 – The Quizzical Bible Man

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

 

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just "Get It Out Of Their System" Early

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early. I believe that as fathers, we always want what’s best for our children. We strive to provide and protect our children to the best of our abilities. While we may make some mistakes along the way, our hearts are usually in the right place.

Maybe that’s why most of us struggle with setting boundaries for our children. We hate the idea of upsetting our kids because we love them, and we don’t want them to get angry at us. We somehow mistakenly believe that this will hurt their esteem or damage our relationship with them.

Parenting Traps To Avoid

So we start to let things slide. We become way too permissive, and we even start enabling bad behavior. These phrases start creeping into our conversations:

“They’re just kids, it’ll be okay.”

“Kids will be kids.”

“I’m just letting them get it out of their system.”

It all seems logically sound — allow your children to have their way and get a certain behavior out of their system. We think that if they’re allowed to eat, drink or indulge to their heart’s content, act out as often as they wish or even drink and party as hard as they want, they’ll eventually get tired of this behavior when they’re older and stop of their own accord.

Why This Parenting Concept Is Flawed

I’ll outline why this parenting method sadly falls short:

  1. In Philippians 4:8, we are instructed to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable and worthy of praise. By allowing kids to “just get it out of their system” we’re encouraging them to do the opposite of what God wants. Instead of having our children practice good behavior, we’re enabling inappropriate conduct. Then we get surprised when they end up being undisciplined, entitled and disrespectful.
  2. Children thrive where there are rules and discipline. Sometimes, we parents forget that rules, limits, and boundaries are actually healthy for children. Parental boundaries help children feel safe and cared for while setting limits helps them know what behavior is expected of them. Limits also teach kids how to socialize with others and how to cope with uncomfortable feelings. If you allow your children to always get away with bad behavior, they’ll never develop the self-discipline, restraint, and self-control necessary to navigate the real world.
  3. It undermines the parent-child relationship. Our children trust us to keep them safe. Letting them run wild sends a subtle message that we really don’t care about their well-being. Over time, they’ll stop trusting us to keep them healthy and safe. We, therefore, shouldn’t be surprised when they start acting out as a way of seeking proof that we care about them.

In Proverbs 22:6, we are reminded to train up our children in the way they should go and they’ll not depart from it even when they’re old. We parents have a duty to not only nurture our children but to also teach them how to make good choices in their lives. This is what being a good father entails and it’s what we should all strive towards.


Patreon Members: It’s Not About The Money! 

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

A Good Father

10 Ways to Be a Good Father

It’s not enough just to know the characteristics of a good father. We need to see what we need to do to BE a good father.

1.- A GOOD FATHER LOVES HIS WIFE

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They WATCH … and they are LEARNING and FORMING their concept of marriage from YOU. You are creating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children.

Men, listen to me carefully because if your son sees you show disrespect for your wife, he will inevitably carry that into his marriage. If you verbally or mentally or physically abuse your wife, your daughter will expect that in her marriage. If you treat their mother like she isn’t worth very much, you are degrading the home, the family, and marriage which your children will carry into their future homes, families & marriages.

But, on the flip side, if your son visibly sees you show love and respect to their mother, your son will learn how to be a good husband and father himself. If you honor your wife, your daughter will never be satisfied with a man who dishonors her. If you cherish their mother as a valuable part of not only your life, but their life, they will carry that model with them for the rest of their lives.

So what’s it going to be?

Will you love your wife or not? Will you love her even when she is not very lovable? Answer this and you will know what you need to do. Will you honor her even when she is being difficult? Will you cherish her every day of your life? Remember that Ephesians 5:28 reads like this: “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;”

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … Love your wife!

2.- DON’T EXPECT PERFECT CHILDREN

Just like there are no perfect fathers, there are no perfect children. Do you agree?

Fathers, don’t EXPECT your children to be perfect. Don’t expect them to meet all of your expectations, to fulfill all of your goals for them or to be what you want them to be.

Too many fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. They want their sons to be the football stars that they could never be. They want their daughters to marry into money & success that they never achieved.

Every child is different! Remember, they are not a clone of you (Thank God!). It’s natural for a child to make mistakes, to spill their milk, to accidentally break things, to do poorly on a test and to get angry!

They’re not perfect, they are like YOU were when you were a kid! ACCEPT your children for who they are, whether they are clumsy or athletic, scatterbrained or brainy, shy or a motor-mouth, goofy or sophisticated. It does NOT matter!

Instead of constantly criticizing their imperfections, acknowledge their imperfections and love them. They aren’t perfect, they will never be perfect so don’t expect them to be perfect.

God’s word is very clear bout this. Col. 3:21 – “Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.”

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … Don’t expect perfect children.

3.- ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN

Psalm 127:3 – “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Children are given to us to ENJOY, not to be a burden, not to avoid, not to ignore, BUT TO ENJOY! In order to ENJOY them, you’ve got to be with them, have fun with them and share your life with them.

Don’t use this stupid excuse: “The QUALITY of time is more important than the QUANTITY of time.” The QUANTITY of time you spend with them tells them how important they are to you. It tells them whether they are just an afterthought or an inconvenience or a disruption in your busy schedule. Don’t just give your kids your leftovers.

Listen men, you need to enjoy being a father, and make sure that they enjoy having you as their father. Spend some time on the floor with them, giving them horsey rides, take them to fun places, do fun things, laugh, play and give them some memories of Dad being FUN to be around.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … Enjoy your children.

4.- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN

Give them your undivided attention! You can’t do that with one eye on the TV and the other eye on them. When they have a problem, when they are worried, when they are sad and when they are lonely, they don’t need cartoons, or a video game, or their best friends Dad. They need YOU!

Get involved with your children, and know what’s going on in their everyday life. Listen to them, even when they‘re not saying anything, they are speaking volumes. Be the kind of father that they can come to and say anything that’s on their mind without being criticized for it.

If you listen to them when they’re small and their problems are small, they will come to you when they’re bigger, and their problems are bigger.

God’s word tells us in Proverbs 1:5 – “A wise man will hear and increase in learning …”

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … Listen to your children.

5.- PROVIDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN

1 Tim. 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Even the LOST provide for their families. Men, you can’t be a GOOD FATHER and not provide for your children.

I don’t mean that you have to give them everything they want! That’s one of the WORST things you can do. We are living in a generation of children whose parents have robbed their children of the blessing of WANTING, WORKING & WAITING for material things. We have spoiled our children by giving them INSTANT SATISFACTION and they will carry on this tradition by charging whatever they want and accumulating enormous credit card debt.

Too many fathers think they can BUY OFF their children with THINGS, thus relieving themselves of the guilt for not being the kind of father they ought to be. They think that they can BUY their way out of Biblical fatherhood.

PROVIDING for your children by giving them TOO MUCH, is just as bad as NOT PROVIDING for them by giving them TOO LITTLE.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … provide for your children.

6.- TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN

Ephesians 6:4 – “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

We must teach and train our children to respect authority in the home or they won’t respect authority at school or in the world. We need to teach our children that there are BOUNDARIES, rules & regulations. That there is a line that they will not cross.

Your children are going to test you. They are going to see how much they can get away with. They are going to see if you mean what you say and if you’re going to take a stand, or if it’s just an idle threat.

Every time you back down from Godly instruction, you will have to draw the line further & further away from God’s standard. If you’re not careful, after awhile, THEY will have become the authority and you will have become the one in submission to them.

Train your children to respect authority. Earn their respect, be consistent, discipline them with love or they will never respect the authority of God in their life.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … train your children.

7.- PRAY FOR YOURSELF

1 Chronicles  16:11 – “Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.”

Men, admit that you don’t have all the answers to their questions, that you can’t solve all their problems. You don’t have all the wisdom, love and patience to be the father you ought to be. Without God’s help, you can never be the father God wants you to be.

You need help! You can’t do it by yourself!

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … pray for yourself.

8.- PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Psalm 55:17 – “Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.”

You can’t be with your children all the time, but God can. You can’t protect them wherever they go, but God can. Are you understanding this? You can teach them right from wrong, but you can’t be there when it’s put to the test, but God can.

Pray for your children! Lift them up to God to do for them what you can’t do. As parents, we aren’t perfect, and we make mistakes. If we had to do it all over again, we would do things differently. Maybe we’ve done the best we could, we did what we thought was right, we raised our children the best we knew how.

NOW YOU MUST PRAY FOR THEM! Pray for them because your Heavenly Father loves them as much as you do and He has more experience than you do. Pray that God the Father will take your well-intended efforts at fatherhood and use them to bring your children into His loving arms.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … pray for your children.

9.- BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL

Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Men, you are a role model for your children. Like it or not, good or bad, they will, to one degree or another, model their lives after you. You have inherited some of your father’s characteristics and your children are inheriting some of yours.

Whether you know it or not (or mean to or not), you are influencing the lives of your children, and your children’s children.

You ARE a role model … a good father will be a GOOD role model.

10.- PREPARE YOUR CHILDREN

Proverbs 23:24 – “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”

You are preparing your children to leave home! Remember this! Some day, they’ll take what they’ve learned from you, and begin to apply it out in the real world. You’ve only got approximately 18 years to get them ready.

Preparing them for life away from you is only part of the picture. If you haven’t spent your time preparing them for eternity, you have failed as a father. God didn’t give you your children just to prepare a doctor, a teacher, or a plumber. God gave your children to Christian fathers to prepare them for eternity.

You can’t choose which eternal path they will take, but you CAN choose to show them the way to Heaven OR you can choose to just ignore their spiritual destiny. They have to decide for themselves the path they’ll take, but you can have a Godly influence on their choice.

HOW TO BE A GOOD FATHER … prepare your children … for eternity.

CONCLUSION:

It’s not easy being a good father, is it? BUT it’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE, either. It takes hard work, hard praying, and making hard decisions. You can’t do it alone. God doesn’t expect you to. God doesn’t want you to. Don’t leave Him out of your adventure in fatherhood.


Godly Men Make Godly Fathers is now available! I co-authored this book and it is available now for purchase. I know it will be a blessing for you and for your family. Please order your copy TODAY! And will you also get a copy to give away? I am sure you know someone who is struggling with Fatherhood issues and this book will bring much needed help to them.

This is how to order:

Ordered via PayPal: http://paypal.me/manlytraining
Or GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/godly-men-make-godly-fathers

Cost of the book is $17.00 per book
Add $6.25 Shipping and Handling within the USA

San Antonio and surrounding Residents
Total $17.00 No Shipping Needed 

Order NOW and I will personally sign your copy!


Help us Conquer!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAININ