3 Things Men Need

Men need vision.

The Bible says, in Proverbs 29:18 – When there is no vision the people perish.

Jesus had a vision. He called it the kingdom of God. It was huge. It involved nothing less than a re-creation of the world, one person at a time. And we are His partners in this task. This vision was the focus of His entire life. Everything about His life was tied up in this vision. It was the reason He lived and died.

Unfortunately for the modern church, men don’t have a vision of what God is doing in His church. Church then becomes a club instead of a cause where we try to improve ourselves morally or keep ourselves busy. We must see the significance of the tasks we are given to do. The state of this country and this world depends upon the smallest prayer that we say! So I believe it is time for men

Men need purpose.

Most guys don’t know what the purpose of the church is. That’s because most churches have not agreed on what their specific purpose is. What is our mission statement? Neh. 4:6 For the people had a mind to work”. A study of Shell Oil employees shows that people who retire at age 55 and live to be at least 65 die sooner than people who retire at 65. After age 65, the early retirees have a 37% higher risk of death than counterparts that retired at 65.
That’s not all. People who retire at 55 are 89% more likely to die in the 10 years after retirement than those who retire at 65. This study shows what happens to men (and women) when they no longer have a purpose they are working towards. If you want to be a Real Man, you will have PURPOSE.

Men need high standards.

Many people think the church asks too much of its members. In reality it asks too little. A study by Thom Rainer of two thousand churches showed that without exception the churches that attracted unchurched people were high expectation churches. He said, “People have no desire to be part of something that makes no difference, that expects little.”

We have to ask confidently for a big commitment. Jesus always asked for a commitment clearly and confidently. He was not at all reluctant to ask men and women to drop everything and follow him. People do not resent being asked for a big commitment if there is a great purpose behind it.

“Most often, we draw back from challenging men to greater commitment, assuming they are just lazy! We then wonder why men have so little respect for the church—even as we presume so little respect for them.” Matt. 16:24-25 – Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. If you want to be a Real Man, you will have high standards.

The Calling

Today I am calling every man of God that reads this blog to be the man and the leader that God wants you to be. I am setting the standard high today, even for myself. God wants us to excel spiritually in every area of life. God wants you and me to be the best husband, the best son, the father, the best teacher. Eph. 5-6

Are you in? Will you show yourself a man?

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​Helping Teens Make Good Choices in Today’s World

Being a teenager has never been easy. However, advancements in technology mean that teens today are facing a host of issues that previous generations never had to deal with. Other than peer pressure, our teens now have to contend with online dangers which can have adverse effects on their physical and mental health.

Add that to living in a world that insists on praising wrong and shunning right and you begin to get an idea of how difficult and confusing it can be for teens to make good choices. They are continuously facing peer and societal pressure to experiment with drugs, sex, alcohol etc. and need their parents’ guidance more than ever.

Being a good father in today’s world calls for you to teach your teens how to prioritize and stay focused on making good choices even when it might not be the popular thing to do.

Tips to help your teen with responsible choices

Learning how to make good decisions requires practice –the more you do it, the better you become at it. The trick to teaching your kids lies in conveying the skills of good-decision making without trying to take the decision out of your teen’s hands or making the decisions for them.

Here’s how to go about it:

  • Talk with your teen about choices. Start a conversation with your teen about what constitutes a good choice. Sometimes teens think they have no choice in certain situations so brainstorm, help them see things from a different perspective and come up with smarter alternatives.
  • When they talk to you, listen completely. Listening to your teen can be just as important as talking to them. Actively listening without judgment or overreacting validates their feelings. It makes them feel that their opinions are important.
  • Help them identify and compare possible outcomes of their decisions. Part of making good choices lies in anticipating the consequences of your decisions. Encourage your teen to think ahead to what their choices might lead to e.g. how will taking alcohol affect playing on the football team?
  • Respect your teen’s choices. While you might not always agree with your teen’s decisions, you have to give them space to make their own choices and mistakes. This is how they’ll learn to think for themselves and become confident decision-makers.
  • Involve them in making family decisions. Other than letting them voice their opinions, encourage your teen to participate in making decisions that affect the entire family. This will not only boost their confidence and esteem but also give them good practice for adulthood.

Finally, give your teens your unconditional fatherly love and support. Your teens still need you as a sounding board as they grow older. Sometimes they’ll make poor choices that backfire in their faces but encourage them to keep at it. Make them aware that you’ll always be there to cheer them on and support them in any way you can.


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​Teaching Young Adults To Have Perspective & Keep Priorities In Order

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It’s easy for young adults and teens to lose sight of what really matters in life. They have to constantly deal with pressure and expectations from their peers, friends, parents, and society.

As responsible parents, we should take care to teach our teens to keep their priorities straight if they are to be prepared for the real world. While high school life does have its moments, it’s not all there is to life. Part of our responsibility as parents, in keeping with God’s word, is to guide our children and one of the ways we get to do that is to teach them to have perspective and get their lives in order.

Here’s how to go about it:

Teach them to set aside time to reflect.

I believe the first step in learning how to prioritize is taking time to pause and reflect. Teens especially need this, given that they live in a fast-paced world that is full of distractions with a million things clamoring for their attention.

Like the scripture says- Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. When your teen spends time reflecting on their lives and seeking God, they will more easily figure out which direction to take to realize the Lord’s purpose for their lives.

Help them figure out what’s important.

Another key step is for young adults to get crystal clear on what they feel is important in their lives and what they want to achieve. Whether it’s financial success, academic excellence, volunteering or spreading the word, they need to have clear goals to focus their time and energy on.

They need to take action in small steps.

While coming up with goals is a good thing, teens also need to figure out what steps to take to achieve them. Remember success replicates success, so ensure they keep to small, measurable steps that can be easily achieved.

For instance, if your child wants to make the track team, a small achievable step towards this would be waking up at 5 a.m. to run 5 miles, 4 days a week. This will keep them motivated to continue working on their goals and eventually accomplish all of them.

Introduce them to a mentor.

If you find your teen having trouble realizing their goals or struggling to get their priorities in order, consider linking them up with a mentor. Mentors can be a fantastic source of motivation and wisdom for young adults, giving them someone to look up to and confide in especially if they don’t want to talk to their parents. The mentor could be a pastor, teacher, counselor, etc. who wouldn’t mind taking your child under their wing.

Remind them that it’s ok to change priorities as they grow.

Nothing in life is constant so your teen should feel free to adjust their priorities as they grow older. This will not only allow them to check their progress and discard what no longer serves them but also ensure that they are always aligning their lives to God’s purpose.

Life can be difficult for young adults as they struggle to find balance. Teaching them to prioritize will go a long way towards helping them lead fulfilling lives.


President Obama – Where is God?

Back in 2016, I wrote this Article titled “President Obama, Where is God?” In this article, I asked President Obama, “What ever happened to that Can Do Attitude? Where did America leave that confidence, that ‘American Spirit’ that we once had in our Great nation”? I revisit this article today and wonder, “Have we made any progress”? (more…)