TRAINING YOUTH

FATHERS, SEX, TRAINING YOUTH, Tyler Jacobson

Having The Sex Talk With Your Teenager


Talking about sex with your teen is not a fun task. It can be awkward, uncomfortable and rattling. This is especially true considering that many of us fathers never had much of a sex talk from our parents. But for this generation of children who are constantly exposed to the highly sexualized world, it is vital that your children gain a real, non-sensationalized view of sex.

As the parent, you are expected to be the one insisting on the conversation and in control. But you probably feel just as weird about it as your teen does, maybe even more so.

Regardless, “the talk” is one of the most important milestones in the development of your child. It cannot be delayed for too long. Children often have access to highly inaccurate information on sex, thanks to their peers and the digital age they are growing up in.

The Stats On Sex As It Relates To Teens

According to the Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention (ReCAPP), a survey in 2015 found that 41% of high school students admitted that they had already engaged in sexual intercourse.

That isn’t the only surprising statistic about teens and sex. According to a study in 2017, the average age of exposure to hardcore pornography in today’s age is 13 years old. Those images can be confusing and misleading for young people who have no context or way to frame what is happening on screen.

Approaching “The Talk” With Your Teens

It is crucial that you discuss sex with your children, even if they are older teens. To help your children feel more comfortable talking about sex with you, try doing these things:

Encourage them to relax and trust you.

  • Now, I’m not saying mere words will do the trick. A key part of being a father and head of the home is to continuously build your family’s trust. Look at your actions honestly, and if you feel like you have cultivated a strong trusting relationship with your children, you are more likely to have them relax and trust you enough to have an uncomfortable discussion.

Invite your teens to be honest without fear of being punished.

  •  Since some teens become sexually active around the ages of 13-14, they could be too scared to tell you. This fear puts them in a dangerous position, as someone can manipulate them with their fear. If you can truly promise you will not punish your children for their honesty, you can help avert serious issues.

Cover the medical aspects.

  • This includes the reproductive organs and processes of both genders, sexually transmitted diseases, what causes and happens during pregnancy, and other topics as you feel are appropriate.

Go over the emotional aspects of sexual activity.

  • These topics can include the emotional connection that can come with sexual activity, how sex and intimacy differ, etc.

Talk about contraceptive methods.

  • Cover what methods do and do not work effectively. Avoid scare tactics, as teens will often research what you say to check. Parents who lie in an attempt to keep their children from having sex can damage the trust they have built-up with their children.

Discuss the importance of consent for both parties.

  • Even if waiting until marriage is a value in your family, your children should understand how important their husband’s or wife’s consent is to a healthy relationship. Also, talk to your children about knowing when you are ready for sex.

Cover The Dynamics Of Sex And Relationships

Sex is not the only topic that should be on the table. Alongside the above points, you should also discuss how to know you are in a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy one. Talk about what respect means for both parties in a relationship and how important it is for healthy relationships to be based on respect and trust.

Too often, young people will become involved in a physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive relationships with no knowledge that they have been sucked into one. With your guidance, your children can learn the red flags and what to do if they ever find themselves in a toxic relationship, and how to help if they have friends who are in one.

Finally, let your children know that they can always come to you. You are your child’s first line of defense in the world.

More articles by Tyler Jacobson:

Parenting my Son with Attachment Disorders

Teaching my Son to Combat Rejection Like a Man

Teaching Teenagers How to Manage Money

 

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​Helping Teens Make Good Choices in Today’s World


Being a teenager has never been easy. However, advancements in technology mean that teens today are facing a host of issues that previous generations never had to deal with. Other than peer pressure, our teens now have to contend with online dangers which can have adverse effects on their physical and mental health.

Add that to living in a world that insists on praising wrong and shunning right and you begin to get an idea of how difficult and confusing it can be for teens to make good choices. They are continuously facing peer and societal pressure to experiment with drugs, sex, alcohol etc. and need their parents’ guidance more than ever.

Being a good father in today’s world calls for you to teach your teens how to prioritize and stay focused on making good choices even when it might not be the popular thing to do.

Tips to help your teen with responsible choices

Learning how to make good decisions requires practice –the more you do it, the better you become at it. The trick to teaching your kids lies in conveying the skills of good-decision making without trying to take the decision out of your teen’s hands or making the decisions for them.

Here’s how to go about it:

  • Talk with your teen about choices. Start a conversation with your teen about what constitutes a good choice. Sometimes teens think they have no choice in certain situations so brainstorm, help them see things from a different perspective and come up with smarter alternatives.
  • When they talk to you, listen completely. Listening to your teen can be just as important as talking to them. Actively listening without judgment or overreacting validates their feelings. It makes them feel that their opinions are important.
  • Help them identify and compare possible outcomes of their decisions. Part of making good choices lies in anticipating the consequences of your decisions. Encourage your teen to think ahead to what their choices might lead to e.g. how will taking alcohol affect playing on the football team?
  • Respect your teen’s choices. While you might not always agree with your teen’s decisions, you have to give them space to make their own choices and mistakes. This is how they’ll learn to think for themselves and become confident decision-makers.
  • Involve them in making family decisions. Other than letting them voice their opinions, encourage your teen to participate in making decisions that affect the entire family. This will not only boost their confidence and esteem but also give them good practice for adulthood.

Finally, give your teens your unconditional fatherly love and support. Your teens still need you as a sounding board as they grow older. Sometimes they’ll make poor choices that backfire in their faces but encourage them to keep at it. Make them aware that you’ll always be there to cheer them on and support them in any way you can.



 

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Daddy – by Travis Simpkins, age 20, Fulton County Jail, Atlanta


“I’d like to think that I’ll be a better father, that I have learned from Dad’s mistakes. On most days I can buy that. But there are times when I look in the mirror and see who I’ve become, and think of who he’s always been, and I’m not so sure. You can’t pick up a newspaper without reading of the nightmare that is child abuse, or how alcohol is ripping families apart. I see these articles and feel a little foolish for my anger. My father was neither abusive nor alcoholic. He was simply absent.

Dad always did love me. He still does – or so he says on the rare occasions when we catch one another on the phone. He had his priorities when I was young, and now I have mine. I’m in jail, and my primary concern is my trial. I’m sure he understands. I always did.

I don’t remember much of him in the early days except that he was my hero. I recall stories I sued to tell the other kids about an important and powerful man. He used to fly in on a moment’s notice. I’d see him for a few precious hours. Then he was gone.

Such is the innocence of youth that when he called, always a few weeks after Christmas or my birthday, and told me that the package I had never received must have gotten lost in the mail, I believed him wholeheartedly. Until I was 13 or 14 years old, I was afraid to mail a letter for fear that the same fate would befall it.

The road from realization to acceptance is a lot longer than it looks. I’ve been on it for the past 5 years, and I’m not all that far from where I started. My father and I have a hard journey ahead of us, provided we can find the time. There is sorrow in his voice when we discuss the past, and I know that if he had it to do over, he’d do his best to do it right. Second chances are few, and it’s much easier to do it right the first time.

My dad loved me as only a father can love a son. I don’t question that. But he was also self-centered and let me down when I needed him most. A part of me will always be that kid at the window waiting and waiting with his nose pressed against the glass; knowing that if Dad said he was coming, he was coming; but waking up curled beneath the window, alone.

I love my father, but looking in the mirror sometimes I get a little scared. We are just so much alike. Father’s Day is just a few months away. There are a lot of kids thinking about their hero’s and a lot of hero’s thinking about their kids. Probably there are many kids who don’’ see too much of Dad. If I’’ lucky, a handful of those fathers are reading this. Your kids will love you whether you make it or not; that is the nature of being a hero. But maybe you should take time to consider how important whatever else you have planned is. We do grow up fast. Just ask my dad, or better yet, ask yours.”

Signed – Travis Simpkins, age 20, Fulton County Jail, Atlanta.

And so we see the end result of another failed father. The sad tale of another man who refused to follow God’s plan for the family, the fruit that came to another man who never knew heaven in the home.

How to Be a Father in 4 Easy Steps

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Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

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TRAINING YOUTH

Jesus The Teenage Rebel – Part 4


So far in this series about Jesus The Teenage Rebel, we have discussed the fact that Jesus was a very normal guy! If you missed any of the previous three parts, click on the links here to catch up!

Jesus The Teenage Rebel

Part I —— Part II —— Part II

Today we want to take a look at an often overlooked part of Jesus’ life! We are alway thinking that Jesus, since he is God, grew up in a special way. The only thing that was special about his life on earth as a child and a teenager is that His parents would often tell Him the stories about how He was born and How the angel appeared to them. His parents would surely remind Him frequently that He was the Son of God, the Messiah.

However, Jesus still had to grow up, just like everybody else!

4. Jesus had to learn and grow just like everybody else.

Notice what Jesus is doing in the temple: vs. 46: listening and asking questions! He’s learning – listening and asking questions!

We often think in this passage that Jesus is there setting them all straight – but that is not what is says!! It says He is learning from them! We have a glimpse here of Jesus’ Spiritual formation – of His Christian education. Jesus had to learn too. and it was hard work. Look at vs. 52

– Jesus GREW in wisdom (mind) and stature (physical) and in favor with God (spiritual) and men (social).

See how well-balanced that is! I love this. It wasn’t instantaneous for Jesus. It wasn’t handed to Him on a silver platter. How did He grow? How did His Spiritual Formation occur? Over time. through education. Through His family regularly attending spiritual celebrations. Jesus grew and learned just like every other human being.

Jesus Understands

I find that encouraging. It reminds me again how much Jesus really does understand all that we go through. He sat through school on days when the sun was shining brightly and it would have been more fun to run and play. Furthermore, He sat through sermons like you do on Sundays, and maybe some of them weren’t all that great. He maybe got in trouble for something He didn’t do. Isn’t it great to know that Jesus really does understand the things we go through on a daily basis – because He has lived them also.

Notice finally the consequences of Jesus’ growth: vs 51:

“He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient”.

Obedience is always the consequence of true spiritual growth.

Jesus was a teenage rebel. He rebelled by choosing to put God first and by living to a higher calling. He rebelled against the mediocre legalistic religion of his day and lived with a faith of the heart that was intense and personal and full of joy.

Will you be a rebel like Jesus? Will you go against our world and:

– live for others rather than for yourself

– stand up for those our world takes for granted and treats with contempt

WILL YOU…

  • turn the other cheek when people do you wrong
  • you love in the midst of hate
  • maximize your opportunities to learn and grow instead of taking them for granted
  • choose to obey and grow even when that causes anxiety and tension

Will YOU be a rebel like Jesus??

I challenge you to that today: be a rebel like Jesus.

Teens Can Do Great Things.

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Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

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TRAINING YOUTH

Jesus The Teenage Rebel – part 3


In Jesus The Teenage Rebel, we have been looking at the fact that Jesus grew up in a normal home. Jesus lived without sin, but his parents and his siblings did not. There was surely conflict in His house. Sibling rivalry, parenting issues and other kinds of conflict. Jesus was a pretty normal 12 year old when he chose to go to the temple and ask the Rabi’s questions. But His parents didn’t think so. They were worried! Jesus rebelled against the teen tendency to view adults as irrelevant, boring, stodgy, out of touch old people. Instead, He saw how much He could learn from them and maximized His opportunity to learn.

We are looking a Jesus as a teenager. In the first two parts, the lesson was mainly for the teensagers, but parents got some encouragement too. There are not a lot of writings about this time of His life. we can find the best one in Luke 2:41-52. And you know what it shows us? It shows us that; Jesus was a teenage rebel!

Luke 2:41-48

Luke 2:41-45 Every year Jesus’ parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up as they always did for the Feast. When it was over and they left for home, the child Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents didn’t know it. Thinking he was somewhere in the company of pilgrims, they journeyed for a whole day and then began looking for him among relatives and neighbors. When they didn’t find him, they went back to Jerusalem looking for him.
Luke 2:46-48 The next day they found him in the Temple seated among the teachers, listening to them and asking questions. The teachers were all quite taken with him, impressed with the sharpness of his answers. But his parents were not impressed; they were upset and hurt.
His mother said, “Young man, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been half out of our minds looking for you.”

There is a third thing I notice in this passage. A very interesting one, especially for parents.

3.- Jesus’ obedience to God caused some anxiety.

His growth produced some tension. By choosing to maximize His opportunity for growth Jesus made His mom and dad anxious. That is often true for us also. As we grow, and change, it is often uncomfortable.

We have growing pains. You often hear teenagers and pre-teens complaining about their legs, their arms and just about every extremity in their body. That is very uncomfortable!

Let’s not forget the whole issue around weight and height! As pre-teens turn into teenagers and young adults, they first put on some weight. Then they gave growth spurts. Their bodies are ever changing and getting ready for adulthood!

Let me tell you that the same is true spiritually. As we grow in obedience to God, it often creates tension with others around us!

Examples

I can think of several examples of this spiritual principle. Take for instance when one spouse decides they want to be more giving and another would rather make the next big purchase. That has to add tension to any relationship.

What would happen if one family member suddenly wants to become a world Christian and wants the family to give up a meal each week and send the saved money to the hungry in Africa? Tension!! Especially for those les “spiritual in their growth”.

As we mature as Christians, we may come face to face with this other issue causing tension at work. The partner at work doesn’t understand why you “suddenly” have a moral problem with the way income is reported for tax purposes.

That is just how it goes. Growth produces change and change sometimes creates tensions and anxiety. Expect that! Embrace that as part of the process! Above all, don’t let it stop you from making steps in your spiritual life. It is part of being a rebel!

Jesus The Teenage Rebel – part 1

Why Train Teenagers?

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Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

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TRAINING YOUTH

Teens Can Do Great Things.


God has a track record of choosing teens to accomplish great spiritual feats.

From Joseph, to Timothy, to Esther (who won a beauty contest then saved a nation), God has used young people in big ways to do even bigger things.

In 1 Samuel 16 when the prophet Samuel goes to the house of Jesse, it’s not the strapping, strutting older brothers of the house that God chooses to be king. It’s the underage runt of the litter that got annointed as the future leader of Israel. One chapter later, this kid named David, who was delivering cheese and crackers to his older brothers in the war, got ticked off that a nine foot giant was talking smack against the God of Israel. His anger left an impression on Goliath…a deep one.

But its not just in the Old Testament that God demonstrates his predisposition to choose and use teenagers. For the most part Jesus mostly picked teenagers to be his disciples. In Matthew 17, when Jesus, Peter and the disciples go into Capernaum, only Peter and Jesus pay the temple tax (although all of the disciples are there!) According to Exodus 30:14 the temple tax was only applicaple to those twenty years old and older. If I’m reading that right, that means that Jesus was a youth leader with only one adult sponsor…and one really rotten kid.

And God used this “youth group” to reach the world! He can use you to do the same!


Patreon

Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

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TRAINING YOUTH

Why Train Teenagers?


1 Comment

Why Train Teenagers? ejq3 is a website I launched with the sole purpose of reaching our young people for Christ and then training them. After all, we are called to make disciples.  For the past two and a half years, I have been working on “manlytraining.com” and reaching men (and some women) to train (or disciple) them in God’s ways. I reasoned that if we could reach the men, we could reach the whole family. And if we could reach the families of America, we could make a difference in our nation. For as the family goes, so goes our Nation!

0177BE51-A076-44D1-8824-F2EA8723D4EESo far, Manly Training Ministries has done well. We have a large online following made up mostly adults from 30 to 60 years of age. We have a weekly group of men we call “The Men of Destiny”. These men get together every week to encourage each other and study God’s word so that we can grow as men and become the men God created us to be.

As a part of the strategy that God has given us here at Manly training Ministries, we are now launching out to the younger generations. After all, they are our future. But WHY would we take on a ministry that aims to train or disciple teenagers? Well, let me tell you why:

We want to disciple the younger generations because:

1. God has a track record of choosing teens to accomplish great spiritual feats.

2. God receives glory when the “foolish things of the world” confound the wise.

3. It just makes sense.

I will explain each one of these three reasons in seperate posts. Let’s make a difference

A godly man
A godly man

together as we train our teenagers and young adults to become the men and women God designed them to be.

Jesus The Teenage Rebel – part 1


Patreon

Patreon allows you to support this Non-Profit 501(c)(3) organization with a tax free donation. Your donations and support will go towards program material, training material, summer camps and much more. In addition, we have overhead such as the website and its maintenance, transportation, and well, my family and I need to eat.

On Patreon you can pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts! You can support Manly Training Ministries with as much as you want, I won’t stop you. But I will pray for you and with great gratitude, we will receive it and put all of it (100%) to work for the ministry.

Just Click  on the Patreon Logo to go to Patreon and start receiving exclusive material from Manly Training.



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© 2017 MANLY TRAINING