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Do you Know How to Talk to Women?


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Last week I explained that sacrificial love means taking the time to show your wife affection. However, sacrificial love also means loving your wife enough to talk with her. Do you know how to talk to women?

Women Need Conversation

Let’s talk about CONVERSATION – In a recent study done by a leading woman’s magazine, women said that their number 1 complaint about their husbands was that they didn’t talk to them enough.

Men, talk to your wives. Talk to your wife about her day, and about what interests her, and about how she feels. Talk to her. And women, you know that we men are sometimes a little weak in this area, so help us out. Let me share 3 steps you can take to help your husband talk to you more.

a. Show some interest in his interests.
b. Let your husband talk as much as you do.
c. Make conversations with your husband pleasant. You can and must discuss some unpleasant things from time to time, but don’t major on them. Don’t spend all your time talking about how your husband has let you down. Make your conversations as pleasant as possible.

Women and Sex

Unlike the need for sex, conversation is not an emotional need that can or should be met exclusively in marriage. Your wife’s need for conversation can ethically be met by almost anyone. But if it is one of her most important emotional needs, whoever meets it best will deposit so many love units, she may fall in love with that person. So if it’s her need, it’s crucial to your marital happiness that you are the one who meets it the best and most often.

The need for conversation is not met by simply talking to someone. It is met when the conversation is enjoyable for both persons involved. Good conversation is characterized by the following:

  1. using it to inform and investigate each other,
  2. focusing attention on topics of mutual interest,
  3. balancing the conversation so both have an equal opportunity to talk, and
  4. giving each other undivided attention while talking to each other.

Error Talk

Conversation fails to meet this need when

(1) demands are made,

(2) disrespect is shown,

(3) one or both become angry, or

(4) when it is used to dwell on mistakes of the past or present.

Unless conversation is mutually enjoyable, a couple is better off not talking to each other at all. An unpleasant conversation not only fails to meet the emotional need, but it also makes it less likely that there will be an opportunity to meet the need in the future. That’s because we tend to prevent our spouse from meeting our needs if earlier attempts were painful to us.

Dating Talk

Men and women don’t have too much difficulty talking to each other during courtship. That’s a time of information-gathering for both partners. Both are highly motivated to discover each other’s likes and dislikes, personal background, current interests and plans for the future. But after marriage, many women find that the man who would spend hours talking to her on the telephone, now seems to have lost all interest in talking to her, and spends his spare time watching television or reading.

If your wife’s need for conversation was fulfilled during courtship, she also expects it to be met after marriage. And if she fell in love because you met her need for conversation during courtship, she risks falling out of love if that need is not met during marriage.

Does she have a craving just to talk to someone? Does she pick up the telephone just because she feels like talking? If she sees conversation as a practical necessity, primarily as a means to an end, she probably doesn’t have much of a need for it. But if she uses conversation “just to talk,” and enjoy conversation in its own right, and is frustrated when she hasn’t been able to talk to someone for a while, consider it to be one of her most important emotional needs.

Men, sacrificial love requires affection, it requires conversation, and it requires Honesty & openness. Next week we will dive into understanding how Honesty and openness can transform your relationship with your wife.

This is part 3 of this series. I have received numerous emails and tweets about this series, so I pray it will continue to bless you. If you missed the first two parts, here are the links so you can catch up.

The Manly Training Show – A Fun Christian youtube Video Blog

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NEWS, THE NEWSROOM

Hurricane Harvey, From Mega-Storm to Mega-blessing


The Mega-Storm Called Harvey

Today has been a rather interesting day to say the least. I woke up to the news that a tropical storm named Harvey was brewing in the Gulf of Mexico and that it would bring some much needed rain to South Texas. The forecast called for 1 or 2 inches of rain in San Antonio Texas and some 6 inches of rain along the coast. So where did this mega-storm come from?

Ten minutes later, the meteorologist on the radio started to say that since the lastimage update, Tropical Storm Harvey had gained strength. The storm was expected to make landfall near Corpus Christi Texas Friday night or Saturday Morning as a category 1 Hurricane! He sounded shocked and in disbelief as he gave the news and said,”This Storm has come out of nowhere and has surprised us all. Harvey could become a high category one Hurricane before it’s all said and done with winds sustained near 80 miles an hour and rain along the coast of 10 to 12 inches. It could make its way to San Antonio dumping some 4 to 6 inches of rain there.”

Mega-News

That was the last update I heard, until about 7:00 pm CST when I heard the meteorologist on the radio again. He said, “Harvey is rapidly strengthening and is forecast to become a Category 3 hurricane with winds of at least 111 mph by the time it hits the middle Texas coast late Friday or early Saturday. It’s expected to bring 15 to 25 inches of rain to the Texas coast, with isolated instances where rainfall totals could reach 35 inches”. How did we go from a Tropical Storm to a Category 3 Hurricane in just 8 hours? “It’s like scientists created a mega-storm on a computer and then unleashed it into the real world,” I heard the meteorologist say.

Well, all of this got me thinking. I began to think about one such storm recorded in the bible. Shall we read it?

Mark 4:35-41 The Message (MSG)

The Wind Ran Out of Breath

35-38 Late that day he said to them, “Let’s go across to the other side.” They took him in the boat as he was. Other boats came along. A huge storm came up. Waves poured into the boat, threatening to sink it. And Jesus was in the stern, head on a pillow, sleeping! They roused him, saying, “Teacher, is it nothing to you that we’re going down?”

39-40 Awake now, he told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, “Quiet! Settle down!” The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass. Jesus reprimanded the disciples: “Why are you such cowards? Don’t you have any faith at all?”

41 They were in absolute awe, staggered. “Who is this, anyway?” they asked. “Wind and sea at his beck and call!”

Mega-Attacks

Any time you are on the front lines of battle and are doing something for the kingdom of God, the enemy’s attacks against your life will escalate. Since I began Manly Training Ministries, I have seen this first hand! I have seen it every time my family and I serve the Lord and start making progress in bringing the kingdom of God to men, women and children.

Even Jesus came under such an attack when He was preparing to cast a legion of demons out of the demoniac of Gadara. Violent and destructive winds seemed to come from out of nowhere to capsize Jesus’ boat & drown Him & His disciples in the middle of the lake.

Verse 37 – (KJV) “And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full…”

NOTICE the phrase – “And there arose…” This is a phrase from a Greek word which occurs more than 200 times in the N.T. with the meaning that describes something that happens “unexpectedly“”or something that catches one off guard.

Mega-Surprise

2016-09-23-19-33-52-2

The word contains an element of surprise. This tells us that Jesus and His disciples did not expect bad weather that night – these winds took them by surprise.

Many of Jesus’ disciples were fishermen before they were called into the ministry and they knew the weather of the sea. Had a mega-storm been brewing that night, these men would never have taken their little boat out into the middle of that sea. You would have to be crazy if you purposely went into a storm that you know is coming and you can avoid it. From that we can be sure that when they began their journey that night it was a perfect night for sailing.

Suddenly and unexpectedly “there arose” a great storm of wind. NOTICE: Mark tells us it was “A GREAT STORM OF WIND” or (NIV) “A FURIOUS SQUAIL.”

The word “Great” is taken from the word Mega, which denotes something of magnificent proportions. It is where we get the idea of “Mega-bills,” “Mega-work,” “Mega-tired,” or the word “Mega-phone.” Mark is telling us that this was a Mega-storm.

Notice also that it was “a great storm of wind…” Mark doesn’t say that it was a thunderstorm, or a rainstorm; he tells us that it was “a great storm of WIND.”

This word “wind” describes a “turbulence” or a terribly “violent wind.”

An Invisible Mega-Storm

The mega-storm which came against Jesus and His disciples that night was an unseen storm; you could not see this storm, but you could feel the effects of it.

This was an attempt of the enemy to destroy Jesus and His crew before they reached the other side. On the other side, in the country of the Gadarenes, Satan had a prized possession: the demoniac of Gadara. Satan did not want his prized possession to come in contact with Jesus. The devil knew that if this happened he could loose this prized possession.

In order to stop Jesus from reaching the other side this unexpected attack of “violent and destructive turbulence” came down upon them to kill and destroy.

The disciples were soon to learn that Jesus is Lord of the wind and the waves! After 2017-04-04 16.11.09.jpgexercising authority over this unseen turbulence & speaking to the waves of the sea, the scripture says that “the wind ceased, and there was a GREAT CALM” (v. 39, KJV).

Mega-Authority

Just as sure as such attacks came against Jesus we to can be sure the enemy will attempt to do this to us as well. We must deal with these attacks. We, through the name of Jesus must take authority over the wind & the waves that come against our lives, our families, our businesses or our bodies, just like Jesus took authority over the wind & the waves that came against Him.

NOTICE the words “GREAT CALM”. Verse 37 told us that the storm was “A GREAT STORM.” WHEN IT WAS ALL SAID & DONE Jesus matched a “Mega-storm” with a “Mega-calm”!

Mega-Evil

Let me break the news to you this way…

If the enemy has created a Mega financial problem in your life then Jesus wants to match it with a MEGA financial blessing.

Anytime that the adversary has creats a MEGA sickness in your body, then Jesus wants to match it with a MEGA healing.

If the devil has created a horrible MEGA marital mess in your life, then the Lord Jesus wants to match it with a MEGA marital blessing.

Whatever the devil does, Jesus wants to at least match it in your life! Really he will not only match it but he will do more than the devil. He will give you blessings greater than the problems the devil gave you.

So what are you facing today? Whatever it is, there is a light at the end of your tunnel and the blessings far outweigh the problems you are facing now.

 

Here are some other good reads on Manly Training:

Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man

25 Years!

Church is for Women and Kids

 

Women can Help Too

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

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MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

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I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

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