Women

Do you Know How to Talk to Women?

Last week I explained that sacrificial love means taking the time to show your wife affection. However, sacrificial love also means loving your wife enough to talk with her. Do you know how to talk to women?

Women Need Conversation

Let’s talk about CONVERSATION – In a recent study done by a leading woman’s magazine, women said that their number 1 complaint about their husbands was that they didn’t talk to them enough.

Men, talk to your wives. Talk to your wife about her day, and about what interests her, and about how she feels. Talk to her. And women, you know that we men are sometimes a little weak in this area, so help us out. Let me share 3 steps you can take to help your husband talk to you more.

a. Show some interest in his interests.
b. Let your husband talk as much as you do.
c. Make conversations with your husband pleasant. You can and must discuss some unpleasant things from time to time, but don’t major on them. Don’t spend all your time talking about how your husband has let you down. Make your conversations as pleasant as possible.

Women and Sex

Unlike the need for sex, conversation is not an emotional need that can or should be met exclusively in marriage. Your wife’s need for conversation can ethically be met by almost anyone. But if it is one of her most important emotional needs, whoever meets it best will deposit so many love units, she may fall in love with that person. So if it’s her need, it’s crucial to your marital happiness that you are the one who meets it the best and most often.

The need for conversation is not met by simply talking to someone. It is met when the conversation is enjoyable for both persons involved. Good conversation is characterized by the following:

  1. using it to inform and investigate each other,
  2. focusing attention on topics of mutual interest,
  3. balancing the conversation so both have an equal opportunity to talk, and
  4. giving each other undivided attention while talking to each other.

Error Talk

Conversation fails to meet this need when

(1) demands are made,

(2) disrespect is shown,

(3) one or both become angry, or

(4) when it is used to dwell on mistakes of the past or present.

Unless conversation is mutually enjoyable, a couple is better off not talking to each other at all. An unpleasant conversation not only fails to meet the emotional need, but it also makes it less likely that there will be an opportunity to meet the need in the future. That’s because we tend to prevent our spouse from meeting our needs if earlier attempts were painful to us.

Dating Talk

Men and women don’t have too much difficulty talking to each other during courtship. That’s a time of information-gathering for both partners. Both are highly motivated to discover each other’s likes and dislikes, personal background, current interests and plans for the future. But after marriage, many women find that the man who would spend hours talking to her on the telephone, now seems to have lost all interest in talking to her, and spends his spare time watching television or reading.

If your wife’s need for conversation was fulfilled during courtship, she also expects it to be met after marriage. And if she fell in love because you met her need for conversation during courtship, she risks falling out of love if that need is not met during marriage.

Does she have a craving just to talk to someone? Does she pick up the telephone just because she feels like talking? If she sees conversation as a practical necessity, primarily as a means to an end, she probably doesn’t have much of a need for it. But if she uses conversation “just to talk,” and enjoy conversation in its own right, and is frustrated when she hasn’t been able to talk to someone for a while, consider it to be one of her most important emotional needs.

Men, sacrificial love requires affection, it requires conversation, and it requires Honesty & openness. Next week we will dive into understanding how Honesty and openness can transform your relationship with your wife.

This is part 3 of this series. I have received numerous emails and tweets about this series, so I pray it will continue to bless you. If you missed the first two parts, here are the links so you can catch up.

The Manly Training Show – A Fun Christian youtube Video Blog

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

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We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!



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The Art Of Losing: Teaching Your Kid To Be A Great Loser

The Art Of Losing: Teaching Your Kid To Be A Great Loser

The Art of Losing!

Teaching your Kid the Art of Losing seems like a dumb thing to do. Who wants to be a loser? But you’ll thank me in the end!

There are numerous lessons we parents need to teach our children before they fly the nest. One of the most important ones is how to be good losers.

Winning is easy since victory tastes nice and you get a huge ego boost to boot. But losing – well, that doesn’t go down too well. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth and it’s hard to stomach. If you have a strong-willed child, losing isn’t something they’ll take gracefully. There will be tantrums, fits of rage and angry words.

Teaching them to be a loser!

However, while we need to nurture our kids’ competitive spirits, it’s equally important to teach them how to accept losing with grace and dignity. After all, competition is a fact of life. Today they might lose a soccer or baseball match and tomorrow they might suffer the rejection of a job denied or unrequited love. As such, it is important to know how to handle themselves in these situations.

Here are some tips that might help you next time your child doesn’t come up with a win:

Tips on losing:

  • Take a look in the mirror. You can’t teach your kid to be a good sport about losing if you’re not one yourself. How do you react if your child gets a minor role in the school play or comes last in a relay race? What about your reaction when your favorite football team fails to score that all-important touchdown? Remember your kids are always watching and their reaction to losing will be a reflection of how you behave in such situations.
  • Address the importance of losing. Talking to your child about why he can’t win or be good at everything helps him accept it as part of life. If they see that even great people were once losers before making it in life, he’ll be encouraged not to take losses personally and to keep trying.
  • Focus on effort, skill and fun. Teach your child to only focus on winning and they’ll be disappointed many times in life. Instead, direct their focus to improving a certain skill set in the activities they participate in and discovering where their passions lie. Above all, stress the importance of getting out there, giving it their all and having as much fun as possible.
  • Don’t give them sympathy wins. I get it – it’s hard to watch your kids lose and fail. Even so, letting them win out of sympathy will only do them more harm than good. It will give them a false sense of achievement and false confidence in their abilities. There are incredible lessons to be learned through failure and these will help your child be the best they can be.
  • Encourage them to be thankful. Lastly, build up thankfulness in your kid by reminding them that all good gifts are lavished on us by God. He deserves all praise and gratitude for giving us the talents and abilities that enable us to compete. With humility and gratitude in their hearts, your children will find it easier to be gracious winners or losers.

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Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

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We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



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My Resolutions for 2018

A New Year

Today is December 29th. In two more days we will be bringing 2017 to an end! As we ponder on the past year and wonder in excitement about 2018, many of us will make one or more New Year Resolutions. This means we all make promises to ourselves that usually get
shattered by March. And even though we break our resolutions year after year, we will still promise ourselves to eat healthier, exercise and work hard.

I have been thinking about my own resolutions for this year and since so much of my life revolves around my three boys, it would make sense to make resolutions for the new year based on them. I want to share them today because I feel it may bless other dads who may have the same challenges I do.

Resolutions for 2018

So, I resolve to: Get my my kids to sleep in their own beds this year. Currently, my family approaches bedtime like a roving band of narcoleptic gypsies. Despite having officially-assigned beds, the boys often wake up in each other’s beds, my bed, on family room furniture, on the giant teddy bear in the corner of the room or on the floor… but never outside … at least not yet!

The good news is we all still like each other and this sleep shuffle doesn’t seem to affect my kids. But it affects me, as I frequently wake up at 3 a.m. with one leg on the floor, because I’m subconsciously trying not to be shoved out of bed by a recently-arrived occupant. This needs to stop, because they’re all getting too big, and Dad is getting too old to have his body twisted around like this without him knowing.

Outside Resolutions for 2018

I also resolve to: Get my kids outside more. I think I resolved to do this last year. If so, I don’t think it worked very well, or I wouldn’t be resolving to do it again. My oldest son who will be 9 in 11 days has played soccer at the YMCA for four years now, but only in the Spring and the Fall due to the fact that the Summer heat is unbearable in San Antonio TEXAS and there are too many things going on in the winter. Now, my 5-year-old did play soccer, and learned how to dramatically throw himself on the floor when another boy tries to take the ball from him. It’s funny to watch, but I’ll be missing that now since soccer really isn’t his thing. I am grateful for the 2016 Summer Olympics because no my 5 year old is taking Gymnastics. You should see him pull himself up on the rings!

Nevertheless, I’d like to target a certain hike or camping trip. I’m not talking the coast trail to Alaska or anything, but one of my kids has been harping about wanting to go camping. My boys are going to get some exercise, if for no other reason than to make me feel like I’m a functional parent.

Future Resolutions for 2018

I also resolve to: Start my kids’ college funds. Because I finally realize that day isn’t decades in the future and I don’t want them to someday owe $217 million in college loans.

I also resolve to: remodel the house this year so that Mom, Dad, Three energetic Boys and two crazy dogs can live together in harmony in an 1850 square foot home.

These are the silly (or not so silly) resolutions I have planned for 2016. But there are some very serious ones I want to also share with you today. I started Manly Training in September of 2015 and already I have seen and heard of many men who have started their journey towards becoming the man that God created them to be.

Some Serious Resolutions for 2018

I fully resolve to do everything I can to make Manly Training a tool that will make a difference in our world today. Manly Training needs to become a movement that will help men across America and the world become Godly men, Loving husbands and Fathers that will be there for their families. I dream of a day that fatherless homes are eradicated in our great land. A day when those 24 million children that go to bed in a home without a father today would be able to say; “Good night daddy”!

Furthermore, I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

I Will do the following:

•I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be wiling to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

•I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.2016-12-27-23-11-56

•I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

•I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

•I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

•I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

•I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

•I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

•I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

The Discipline of Fatherhood

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



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© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just "Get It Out Of Their System" Early

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early. I believe that as fathers, we always want what’s best for our children. We strive to provide and protect our children to the best of our abilities. While we may make some mistakes along the way, our hearts are usually in the right place.

Maybe that’s why most of us struggle with setting boundaries for our children. We hate the idea of upsetting our kids because we love them, and we don’t want them to get angry at us. We somehow mistakenly believe that this will hurt their esteem or damage our relationship with them.

Parenting Traps To Avoid

So we start to let things slide. We become way too permissive, and we even start enabling bad behavior. These phrases start creeping into our conversations:

“They’re just kids, it’ll be okay.”

“Kids will be kids.”

“I’m just letting them get it out of their system.”

It all seems logically sound — allow your children to have their way and get a certain behavior out of their system. We think that if they’re allowed to eat, drink or indulge to their heart’s content, act out as often as they wish or even drink and party as hard as they want, they’ll eventually get tired of this behavior when they’re older and stop of their own accord.

Why This Parenting Concept Is Flawed

I’ll outline why this parenting method sadly falls short:

  1. In Philippians 4:8, we are instructed to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable and worthy of praise. By allowing kids to “just get it out of their system” we’re encouraging them to do the opposite of what God wants. Instead of having our children practice good behavior, we’re enabling inappropriate conduct. Then we get surprised when they end up being undisciplined, entitled and disrespectful.
  2. Children thrive where there are rules and discipline. Sometimes, we parents forget that rules, limits, and boundaries are actually healthy for children. Parental boundaries help children feel safe and cared for while setting limits helps them know what behavior is expected of them. Limits also teach kids how to socialize with others and how to cope with uncomfortable feelings. If you allow your children to always get away with bad behavior, they’ll never develop the self-discipline, restraint, and self-control necessary to navigate the real world.
  3. It undermines the parent-child relationship. Our children trust us to keep them safe. Letting them run wild sends a subtle message that we really don’t care about their well-being. Over time, they’ll stop trusting us to keep them healthy and safe. We, therefore, shouldn’t be surprised when they start acting out as a way of seeking proof that we care about them.

In Proverbs 22:6, we are reminded to train up our children in the way they should go and they’ll not depart from it even when they’re old. We parents have a duty to not only nurture our children but to also teach them how to make good choices in their lives. This is what being a good father entails and it’s what we should all strive towards.


Patreon Members: It’s Not About The Money! 

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



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A Real Man - Discipline of Devotion

Be a REAL MAN: A Beginner’s Guide

A Real Man

What makes a REAL MAN? Is it the way he dresses? Is it the way he smells or how strong he is? Or perhaps it is the size of his wallet or the kind of car or truck he drives. Whatever your idea of manliness is, Eduardo is about to turn it upside down in this thought provoking podcast. Listen at your own risk!

Help Like a Real Man!

A Real Man
A Real Man

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



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I need God.

You Need God and He Needs You Too

Do you need God? Did you know that God made you and that He needs you? He has a plan for your life and that’s why He created you. Will you fulfill God’s plan for your life?

Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

We Won’t Change, I Promise.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

The Father Effect – Stories about the impact of fathers.

The following link is a powerful movie every man in America needs to see. Click on the link to watch the 14 minute movie that will have you thinking about your own life.

John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to seek that affirmation from the world in many unhealthy ways. In an attempt to find value as a man, he created a false persona that left him completely unfulfilled. His life was based on the pursuit of money in order to prove his success and he became a social alcoholic as he strived to be the life of every party and gain the attention of those around him.

It was only when John realized and dealt with the unresolved issues of his father wound that he was able to become truly fulfilled. On April 10th, 2009, he finally came face to face with the issues that drove him to seek approval from a father who was not there to give it to him. By forgiving his father and recognizing what it truly means to be a man by God’s standard, he became a new man, husband and father.
John seeks to break down the barriers that prevent men and women from addressing deep rooted anger and hurt from the wounds they have suffered in this life by candidly and openly sharing his story, his failings, and his path to a new way of life. John’s mission is to educate, encourage and equip men to become the fathers they were created to be, and to help men walk in daily awareness of their significant and lifelong influence as fathers. Through The Father Effect Movie, John shares stories and messages that will move viewers to a new awareness about the everlasting impact of fathers and the importance of forgiveness and openness in the relationships of this world.
John has been married for 20 years and has three beautiful daughters. He is incredibly thankful for the second chance to be a father and husband who can offer himself to those he loves without the burden of the bitterness and anger that overshadowed his life for so many years.

Contact John by email at john@TheFatherEffect.com.


HERE IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

“The most influential 14 minutes of my life” Darren (Video)

“I just want to say thank you for sharing that video. Changed my life forever.” Brian

“Wow, this video moved me to tears and to my knees for so many reasons. Growing up with a lack of a male role model, this hits home.” Tash

“Thank you for a most beautiful and moving video!” KU

“A most visually and emotionally stunning film that will leave a positive impact on all who view it! “Bob

“POWERFUL! Every man should watch this.” Holly

“Very moving and right on. Thank you for your passion on this subject. So very needed.” Leah

“WOW! Profound. Young men NEED to see this.” Willie

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for shedding light on what must be the single biggest epidemic in our society.” Christine

“This is an amazing video.”Yvonne

“Kudos for bringing the truth and changing the conversation about the importance of Fathers.” Giacomo

“Love the Film!!!! We need more awareness of the important role fathers play!” Michael

“This is something every father should watch!” Charlene


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