Tyler Jacobson


Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and writer, with experience as a content writer and outreach coordinator for HelpYourTeenNow. Tyler has offered honest advice and humor to struggling parents and teens. Tyler has researched and written on education problems, disorders, the world of social media, addiction, and pressing issues with raising a teen today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin

BLOG FOR DADS, LEADERS, TRAINING YOUTH, Tyler Jacobson

​Helping Teens Make Good Choices in Today’s World


Being a teenager has never been easy. However, advancements in technology mean that teens today are facing a host of issues that previous generations never had to deal with. Other than peer pressure, our teens now have to contend with online dangers which can have adverse effects on their physical and mental health.

Add that to living in a world that insists on praising wrong and shunning right and you begin to get an idea of how difficult and confusing it can be for teens to make good choices. They are continuously facing peer and societal pressure to experiment with drugs, sex, alcohol etc. and need their parents’ guidance more than ever.

Being a good father in today’s world calls for you to teach your teens how to prioritize and stay focused on making good choices even when it might not be the popular thing to do.

Tips to help your teen with responsible choices

Learning how to make good decisions requires practice –the more you do it, the better you become at it. The trick to teaching your kids lies in conveying the skills of good-decision making without trying to take the decision out of your teen’s hands or making the decisions for them.

Here’s how to go about it:

  • Talk with your teen about choices. Start a conversation with your teen about what constitutes a good choice. Sometimes teens think they have no choice in certain situations so brainstorm, help them see things from a different perspective and come up with smarter alternatives.
  • When they talk to you, listen completely. Listening to your teen can be just as important as talking to them. Actively listening without judgment or overreacting validates their feelings. It makes them feel that their opinions are important.
  • Help them identify and compare possible outcomes of their decisions. Part of making good choices lies in anticipating the consequences of your decisions. Encourage your teen to think ahead to what their choices might lead to e.g. how will taking alcohol affect playing on the football team?
  • Respect your teen’s choices. While you might not always agree with your teen’s decisions, you have to give them space to make their own choices and mistakes. This is how they’ll learn to think for themselves and become confident decision-makers.
  • Involve them in making family decisions. Other than letting them voice their opinions, encourage your teen to participate in making decisions that affect the entire family. This will not only boost their confidence and esteem but also give them good practice for adulthood.

Finally, give your teens your unconditional fatherly love and support. Your teens still need you as a sounding board as they grow older. Sometimes they’ll make poor choices that backfire in their faces but encourage them to keep at it. Make them aware that you’ll always be there to cheer them on and support them in any way you can.



 

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​Teaching Young Adults To Have Perspective & Keep Priorities In Order


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It’s easy for young adults and teens to lose sight of what really matters in life. They have to constantly deal with pressure and expectations from their peers, friends, parents, and society.

As responsible parents, we should take care to teach our teens to keep their priorities straight if they are to be prepared for the real world. While high school life does have its moments, it’s not all there is to life. Part of our responsibility as parents, in keeping with God’s word, is to guide our children and one of the ways we get to do that is to teach them to have perspective and get their lives in order.

Here’s how to go about it:

Teach them to set aside time to reflect.

I believe the first step in learning how to prioritize is taking time to pause and reflect. Teens especially need this, given that they live in a fast-paced world that is full of distractions with a million things clamoring for their attention.

Like the scripture says- Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. When your teen spends time reflecting on their lives and seeking God, they will more easily figure out which direction to take to realize the Lord’s purpose for their lives.

Help them figure out what’s important.

Another key step is for young adults to get crystal clear on what they feel is important in their lives and what they want to achieve. Whether it’s financial success, academic excellence, volunteering or spreading the word, they need to have clear goals to focus their time and energy on.

They need to take action in small steps.

While coming up with goals is a good thing, teens also need to figure out what steps to take to achieve them. Remember success replicates success, so ensure they keep to small, measurable steps that can be easily achieved.

For instance, if your child wants to make the track team, a small achievable step towards this would be waking up at 5 a.m. to run 5 miles, 4 days a week. This will keep them motivated to continue working on their goals and eventually accomplish all of them.

Introduce them to a mentor.

If you find your teen having trouble realizing their goals or struggling to get their priorities in order, consider linking them up with a mentor. Mentors can be a fantastic source of motivation and wisdom for young adults, giving them someone to look up to and confide in especially if they don’t want to talk to their parents. The mentor could be a pastor, teacher, counselor, etc. who wouldn’t mind taking your child under their wing.

Remind them that it’s ok to change priorities as they grow.

Nothing in life is constant so your teen should feel free to adjust their priorities as they grow older. This will not only allow them to check their progress and discard what no longer serves them but also ensure that they are always aligning their lives to God’s purpose.

Life can be difficult for young adults as they struggle to find balance. Teaching them to prioritize will go a long way towards helping them lead fulfilling lives.

BLOG FOR DADS, FATHERS, Tyler Jacobson

How To Help Teens Remember Their Worth


As the father of a 16-year-old daughter, I’ve had some time to accumulate both parenting wins and parenting fails. I’m nowhere near perfect obviously but have given it my all. Something I have always strived for in my role as “Father” is to teach my children about their true worth. Now that I have a teenage daughter, this seems more important than ever.

In a recent survey, 95% of teens reported to having felt inferior at some point in their lives. Many reasons why were also given but the top three of those listed were:

  • Appearance (59%)
  • Ability in some activity (49%)
  • Intelligence (38%)

In the same survey, almost half of the teens questioned reported they normally have “low” self-esteem.

As parents, we would do anything for our kids. Our hearts shatter when they experience difficulty and pain, especially when they feel lesser when compared to their peers. We see the whole world in them and want our children to see it in themselves too. To help them overcome these feelings, I have found there are two important areas to focus on with my teenage daughter.

Help Teens Make Time for Mental Health Exercises

In today’s world, many people are so focused on physical health and intelligence. Some even obsess over these areas, shutting out any kind of uplifting mindfulness. Our kids need resources that help them to be optimally healthy when it comes to their emotional well being. They simply are not taught in school what it takes to have great mental health.

As parents, we need to step in and supply them with some resources. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:

  • Daily meditation/prayer/quiet time to connect their soul and mind, allowing teens to completely unplug.
  • Journaling thoughts and gratitude can help focus minds on living in the moment, instead of living through other people’s curated moments on social media.
  • Worksheets and exercises that guide the teen into thinking about self-identity and improve self-worth.

Remind Teens That No One is Better Than Anyone Else

We consciously make an effort to teach our children that no one is better than them as a human, and on the flip side, they are better than no one else.

In our family, each member knows that they are enough. They are worthy of love and acceptance from the people around every day, simply because they exist. Each of us is unique and has different gifts to offer the world we live in. The world is so quick to persuade individuals of who they are not that we often forget how special we are.

By simply taking deliberate time to have these conversations and taking advantage of teachable moments, our kids will not only feel our love and concern for their well being but also truly come to know a sense of self-worth in this crazy world.

GUESTS, Tyler Jacobson

The Art Of Losing: Teaching Your Kid To Be A Great Loser


The Art of Losing!

Teaching your Kid the Art of Losing seems like a dumb thing to do. Who wants to be a loser? But you’ll thank me in the end!

There are numerous lessons we parents need to teach our children before they fly the nest. One of the most important ones is how to be good losers.

Winning is easy since victory tastes nice and you get a huge ego boost to boot. But losing – well, that doesn’t go down too well. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth and it’s hard to stomach. If you have a strong-willed child, losing isn’t something they’ll take gracefully. There will be tantrums, fits of rage and angry words.

Teaching them to be a loser!

However, while we need to nurture our kids’ competitive spirits, it’s equally important to teach them how to accept losing with grace and dignity. After all, competition is a fact of life. Today they might lose a soccer or baseball match and tomorrow they might suffer the rejection of a job denied or unrequited love. As such, it is important to know how to handle themselves in these situations.

Here are some tips that might help you next time your child doesn’t come up with a win:

Tips on losing:

  • Take a look in the mirror. You can’t teach your kid to be a good sport about losing if you’re not one yourself. How do you react if your child gets a minor role in the school play or comes last in a relay race? What about your reaction when your favorite football team fails to score that all-important touchdown? Remember your kids are always watching and their reaction to losing will be a reflection of how you behave in such situations.
  • Address the importance of losing. Talking to your child about why he can’t win or be good at everything helps him accept it as part of life. If they see that even great people were once losers before making it in life, he’ll be encouraged not to take losses personally and to keep trying.
  • Focus on effort, skill and fun. Teach your child to only focus on winning and they’ll be disappointed many times in life. Instead, direct their focus to improving a certain skill set in the activities they participate in and discovering where their passions lie. Above all, stress the importance of getting out there, giving it their all and having as much fun as possible.
  • Don’t give them sympathy wins. I get it – it’s hard to watch your kids lose and fail. Even so, letting them win out of sympathy will only do them more harm than good. It will give them a false sense of achievement and false confidence in their abilities. There are incredible lessons to be learned through failure and these will help your child be the best they can be.
  • Encourage them to be thankful. Lastly, build up thankfulness in your kid by reminding them that all good gifts are lavished on us by God. He deserves all praise and gratitude for giving us the talents and abilities that enable us to compete. With humility and gratitude in their hearts, your children will find it easier to be gracious winners or losers.

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Patreon Members:

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



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© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

BLOG FOR DADS, Tyler Jacobson

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early


Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early. I believe that as fathers, we always want what’s best for our children. We strive to provide and protect our children to the best of our abilities. While we may make some mistakes along the way, our hearts are usually in the right place.

Maybe that’s why most of us struggle with setting boundaries for our children. We hate the idea of upsetting our kids because we love them, and we don’t want them to get angry at us. We somehow mistakenly believe that this will hurt their esteem or damage our relationship with them.

Parenting Traps To Avoid

So we start to let things slide. We become way too permissive, and we even start enabling bad behavior. These phrases start creeping into our conversations:

“They’re just kids, it’ll be okay.”

“Kids will be kids.”

“I’m just letting them get it out of their system.”

It all seems logically sound — allow your children to have their way and get a certain behavior out of their system. We think that if they’re allowed to eat, drink or indulge to their heart’s content, act out as often as they wish or even drink and party as hard as they want, they’ll eventually get tired of this behavior when they’re older and stop of their own accord.

Why This Parenting Concept Is Flawed

I’ll outline why this parenting method sadly falls short:

  1. In Philippians 4:8, we are instructed to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable and worthy of praise. By allowing kids to “just get it out of their system” we’re encouraging them to do the opposite of what God wants. Instead of having our children practice good behavior, we’re enabling inappropriate conduct. Then we get surprised when they end up being undisciplined, entitled and disrespectful.
  2. Children thrive where there are rules and discipline. Sometimes, we parents forget that rules, limits, and boundaries are actually healthy for children. Parental boundaries help children feel safe and cared for while setting limits helps them know what behavior is expected of them. Limits also teach kids how to socialize with others and how to cope with uncomfortable feelings. If you allow your children to always get away with bad behavior, they’ll never develop the self-discipline, restraint, and self-control necessary to navigate the real world.
  3. It undermines the parent-child relationship. Our children trust us to keep them safe. Letting them run wild sends a subtle message that we really don’t care about their well-being. Over time, they’ll stop trusting us to keep them healthy and safe. We, therefore, shouldn’t be surprised when they start acting out as a way of seeking proof that we care about them.

In Proverbs 22:6, we are reminded to train up our children in the way they should go and they’ll not depart from it even when they’re old. We parents have a duty to not only nurture our children but to also teach them how to make good choices in their lives. This is what being a good father entails and it’s what we should all strive towards.


Patreon Members: It’s Not About The Money! 

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

GUESTS, NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH, Tyler Jacobson

My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders


My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders

It is National Adoption Month, a time that is used to bring awareness to the struggles and successes associated with adopting a child. Along with adoption comes awareness of another difficult consequence that can come hand in hand with that topic: attachment disorder.

When They Just Don’t Bond

My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders
My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders

This is a very personal issue for me. I tried to learn how to be a dad from my own father. When I learned that my son had an attachment disorder, I wasn’t sure how to apply those lessons he had given me to my own situation. Like so many children who also suffer from similar conditions, he has always had difficulty connecting with my wife and myself.

Where most young children love to cuddle and hug, my son couldn’t stand being touched. Where most infants are soothed by the bouncing of a car or the roll of a stroller, my son became restless and agitated.

I read a story from a journalist who wrote a book on her experience with her daughter, Julia. Adopted from a Siberian orphanage, the neglect Julia faced from the time of birth led to her shying away from human contact as young as 18 months.

So much of what the author described was similar to what I had seen in my child. The disruptive behavior, the aversion to affection, the lack of eye contact, the inability to cooperate with others, the acting out…I have gone through it all with my precious boy.

What Causes Attachment Disorders?

Attachment disorders are poorly understood and it isn’t known why some children have symptoms and others do not. However, what we do know is that an attachment disorder is formed when a child has not had consistent, loving interaction with a caregiver through their developmental years.

For some, this means they were abandoned by their parents. For others, they were isolated from a consistent caregiver, such as those in orphanages around the world, or foster care locally. Abuse and extreme trauma can also become factors in developing these conditions.

What I Have To Say To Struggling Parents

It gets better. Not right away and it can be a frustrating, even terrifying process. But with firm, consistent love, affection and patience your child will begin to bond with you and others. Being a good parent and expressing your feelings to your child will go a long way into allowing them to heal from their past trauma, whatever it may be.


Tyler Jacobson is a husband, father, freelance writer with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn


Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man

It’s Not About The Money!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

GUESTS, Tyler Jacobson

Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man


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Rejection is Tough, Teach Them, Man!
Rejection is Tough, Teach Them, Man!

Every man will be rejected at some point, whether from a career standpoint or a romantic one. When that rejection comes, it’s important to know how to deal with it, but not everyone does.

Boys who don’t learn this essential skill often grow up to be very confused adults. They end up facing severe emotional challenges both in adolescence and beyond. They may struggle socially and get involved in negative behaviors that can impact their entire lives.
As a parent, you have a responsibility to build up your sons and teach them how to be mentally strong. Godly men know how to handle rejection well, and it’s in your hands to teach them to do so. If you’re wondering where to start in this noble pursuit, here are a few ideas.

Always comfort him and validate his experience.

Rejection is bound to happen, and when it does, you can teach your sons to handle it from a young age simply by acknowledging it. Comfort your son in his sadness, and teach him that it’s okay to feel upset, but that it’s important to move on. This will build up a type of  psychological muscle memory that will combat the ego and automatically kick into gear when they get hurt in the future.

Teach your son to fail.

Rejection should be treated as a normal part of life. Kids need to learn that its okay to fail, and that it’s an excellent learning experience when it happens. Remind your son that his failure is not a definition of who he is, but a learning experience to help him become who he wants to be.

Don’t put the focus on achievements.

Rather than focusing on achievements, such as getting good grades in school, winning a basketball game, or qualifying for the best colleges, parents should focus on their sons’ positive personality traits, such as courage, resiliency, kindness, and charm. This teaches boys to rely on their own personal strengths when the going gets rough rather than on their possessions or title. Let your son take the reins for awhile.
It might be tempting to stay in the driver’s seat during the entire parenting process, but kids will never learn unless you let them run a course of trial and error. You can’t solve every problem for him, and doing so may handicap your son to the point where he can’t handle things when the going gets rough. When you let your son make his own choices to a certain degree, he’ll be able to practice everything youve taught him, and he’ll learn by experience what he should do to remain mentally strong in any given situation.
Raising a mentally strong son isn’t an easy feat, but it’s an essential part of parenting. He should feel safe and strong when he leaves home, and taking the time to teach him important character traits is the only way to make that happen.

Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and writer, with experience as a content writer and outreach coordinator for HelpYourTeenNow. Tyler has offered honest advice and humor to struggling parents and teens. He has researched and written on education problems, disorders, the world of social media, addiction, and pressing issues with raising a teen today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin


Don’t Reject us, Help us!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAININ