GUESTS


This is a good place to find material from those men and women that contribute to the wealth of information found at Manly Training.

BLOG FOR DADS, Tyler Jacobson

Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early


Enabling Practices: Stop Letting Your Kids Just “Get It Out Of Their System” Early. I believe that as fathers, we always want what’s best for our children. We strive to provide and protect our children to the best of our abilities. While we may make some mistakes along the way, our hearts are usually in the right place.

Maybe that’s why most of us struggle with setting boundaries for our children. We hate the idea of upsetting our kids because we love them, and we don’t want them to get angry at us. We somehow mistakenly believe that this will hurt their esteem or damage our relationship with them.

Parenting Traps To Avoid

So we start to let things slide. We become way too permissive, and we even start enabling bad behavior. These phrases start creeping into our conversations:

“They’re just kids, it’ll be okay.”

“Kids will be kids.”

“I’m just letting them get it out of their system.”

It all seems logically sound — allow your children to have their way and get a certain behavior out of their system. We think that if they’re allowed to eat, drink or indulge to their heart’s content, act out as often as they wish or even drink and party as hard as they want, they’ll eventually get tired of this behavior when they’re older and stop of their own accord.

Why This Parenting Concept Is Flawed

I’ll outline why this parenting method sadly falls short:

  1. In Philippians 4:8, we are instructed to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable and worthy of praise. By allowing kids to “just get it out of their system” we’re encouraging them to do the opposite of what God wants. Instead of having our children practice good behavior, we’re enabling inappropriate conduct. Then we get surprised when they end up being undisciplined, entitled and disrespectful.
  2. Children thrive where there are rules and discipline. Sometimes, we parents forget that rules, limits, and boundaries are actually healthy for children. Parental boundaries help children feel safe and cared for while setting limits helps them know what behavior is expected of them. Limits also teach kids how to socialize with others and how to cope with uncomfortable feelings. If you allow your children to always get away with bad behavior, they’ll never develop the self-discipline, restraint, and self-control necessary to navigate the real world.
  3. It undermines the parent-child relationship. Our children trust us to keep them safe. Letting them run wild sends a subtle message that we really don’t care about their well-being. Over time, they’ll stop trusting us to keep them healthy and safe. We, therefore, shouldn’t be surprised when they start acting out as a way of seeking proof that we care about them.

In Proverbs 22:6, we are reminded to train up our children in the way they should go and they’ll not depart from it even when they’re old. We parents have a duty to not only nurture our children but to also teach them how to make good choices in their lives. This is what being a good father entails and it’s what we should all strive towards.


Patreon Members: It’s Not About The Money! 

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

Just Click here and go to Patreon to start receiving

exclusive material from Manly Training.

 

We Won’t Change, I Promise man.

Manly Training is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

 



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

 

 

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GUESTS, NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH, Tyler Jacobson

My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders


My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders

It is National Adoption Month, a time that is used to bring awareness to the struggles and successes associated with adopting a child. Along with adoption comes awareness of another difficult consequence that can come hand in hand with that topic: attachment disorder.

When They Just Don’t Bond

My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders
My Feedback For Others After Parenting My Son With Attachment Disorders

This is a very personal issue for me. I tried to learn how to be a dad from my own father. When I learned that my son had an attachment disorder, I wasn’t sure how to apply those lessons he had given me to my own situation. Like so many children who also suffer from similar conditions, he has always had difficulty connecting with my wife and myself.

Where most young children love to cuddle and hug, my son couldn’t stand being touched. Where most infants are soothed by the bouncing of a car or the roll of a stroller, my son became restless and agitated.

I read a story from a journalist who wrote a book on her experience with her daughter, Julia. Adopted from a Siberian orphanage, the neglect Julia faced from the time of birth led to her shying away from human contact as young as 18 months.

So much of what the author described was similar to what I had seen in my child. The disruptive behavior, the aversion to affection, the lack of eye contact, the inability to cooperate with others, the acting out…I have gone through it all with my precious boy.

What Causes Attachment Disorders?

Attachment disorders are poorly understood and it isn’t known why some children have symptoms and others do not. However, what we do know is that an attachment disorder is formed when a child has not had consistent, loving interaction with a caregiver through their developmental years.

For some, this means they were abandoned by their parents. For others, they were isolated from a consistent caregiver, such as those in orphanages around the world, or foster care locally. Abuse and extreme trauma can also become factors in developing these conditions.

What I Have To Say To Struggling Parents

It gets better. Not right away and it can be a frustrating, even terrifying process. But with firm, consistent love, affection and patience your child will begin to bond with you and others. Being a good parent and expressing your feelings to your child will go a long way into allowing them to heal from their past trauma, whatever it may be.


Tyler Jacobson is a husband, father, freelance writer with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn


Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man

It’s Not About The Money!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAINING

GUESTS, Tyler Jacobson

Teaching My Son To Combat Rejection Like A Man


3 Comments
Rejection is Tough, Teach Them, Man!
Rejection is Tough, Teach Them, Man!

Every man will be rejected at some point, whether from a career standpoint or a romantic one. When that rejection comes, it’s important to know how to deal with it, but not everyone does.

Boys who don’t learn this essential skill often grow up to be very confused adults. They end up facing severe emotional challenges both in adolescence and beyond. They may struggle socially and get involved in negative behaviors that can impact their entire lives.
As a parent, you have a responsibility to build up your sons and teach them how to be mentally strong. Godly men know how to handle rejection well, and it’s in your hands to teach them to do so. If you’re wondering where to start in this noble pursuit, here are a few ideas.

Always comfort him and validate his experience.

Rejection is bound to happen, and when it does, you can teach your sons to handle it from a young age simply by acknowledging it. Comfort your son in his sadness, and teach him that it’s okay to feel upset, but that it’s important to move on. This will build up a type of  psychological muscle memory that will combat the ego and automatically kick into gear when they get hurt in the future.

Teach your son to fail.

Rejection should be treated as a normal part of life. Kids need to learn that its okay to fail, and that it’s an excellent learning experience when it happens. Remind your son that his failure is not a definition of who he is, but a learning experience to help him become who he wants to be.

Don’t put the focus on achievements.

Rather than focusing on achievements, such as getting good grades in school, winning a basketball game, or qualifying for the best colleges, parents should focus on their sons’ positive personality traits, such as courage, resiliency, kindness, and charm. This teaches boys to rely on their own personal strengths when the going gets rough rather than on their possessions or title. Let your son take the reins for awhile.
It might be tempting to stay in the driver’s seat during the entire parenting process, but kids will never learn unless you let them run a course of trial and error. You can’t solve every problem for him, and doing so may handicap your son to the point where he can’t handle things when the going gets rough. When you let your son make his own choices to a certain degree, he’ll be able to practice everything youve taught him, and he’ll learn by experience what he should do to remain mentally strong in any given situation.
Raising a mentally strong son isn’t an easy feat, but it’s an essential part of parenting. He should feel safe and strong when he leaves home, and taking the time to teach him important character traits is the only way to make that happen.

Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and writer, with experience as a content writer and outreach coordinator for HelpYourTeenNow. Tyler has offered honest advice and humor to struggling parents and teens. He has researched and written on education problems, disorders, the world of social media, addiction, and pressing issues with raising a teen today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin


Don’t Reject us, Help us!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAININ

 

GUESTS, Tyler Jacobson

Teaching Teenagers How to Manage Money


5 Comments

Money! One of a father’s greatest sources of joy is to raise his sons from an independent teen to a strong, God-fearing man who can one day lead his own household. A vital part of manly training comes down to teaching our teenage sons proper money management skills.

It will be their job to provide for their families in the near future. I’ve worked not only with my son but also other teenage boys who haven’t had a strong male influence in their lives. I have come up with a basic guide to help parents aid their teens in successfully making and manage their own money.

Provide Opportunities For Enrichment

In my family, we don’t give allowances for our children nor do we pay them for doing their basic chores. I don’t want my children to have the idea there will always be someone handing out money to them for little to no work. So while they are welcome to do chores for the neighbors and find part time jobs when they are old enough, we do not pay them to be a part of our family and contribute like they should.

Instead, I have a list of work in our house my wife and I continually update with jobs. Next to the job is the fixed rate we are willing to pay. So extra household projects like stripping and repainting the fence can serve multiple purposes.

  1. I demonstrate how the work is done and my sons will learn new skills when they take the job.
  2. They receive a better understanding of what kind of projects fathers and husband normally have to tackle.
  3. My boys can take pride in the work they accomplished while also making money.

Since I am the one who pays my children at the end of a project, my children learn one more lesson: a poor job results in less money (or none). They are allowed to redo the project if they want to receive the full allotment of money.

This teaches them that sloppy work is noticed and will not be rewarded.

Practical Savings For Teens

Once money hits the hands of a teenager, it can almost seem to evaporate. I know my sons have items they want when the jobs on the project board start to be done in rapid succession.

However, before they started receiving money, I covered two very important topics. First was the law of the Lord’s tithing.

In Proverbs 3:9, we are told to “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.” I explained to my sons when they received money, they were to set aside their tithing money first and not just give whatever pittance they had left after their spending. Real men are Godly men and put Him first above all other considerations.

Biblical money Management

Once a tenth of their earning has been set aside for the Lord, I taught them to follow the same rule for their personal savings. One-tenth for the Lord and one-tenth for their future.

At first they balked, complaining I was suggesting they save up all their money. But I walked them through the different times where they would want to have a nest egg of money saved up and how they could even earn money while it was being saved.

While my sons opened accounts at our local credit union, there are many options for teens who want an interest-bearing savings account. Impress upon your children that the Lord expects His people to be prepared as clearly stated in Matthew.

Bible Verse

Matthew 25:1-4, “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps.”

If our sons are to be part of the group wise five who were prepared for the Lord’s coming, then it is up to their fathers to make sure they are prepared to be both spiritual, emotional and financial providers for their homes.

Who is Tyler Jacobson?

Tyler enjoys going to the mountains near his home in Draper, Utah to connect with his wife and children through camping, hiking, and quality time together. When he isn’t rebooting in the outdoors, he shares his fatherly experiences with the world through writing and creative designs. Tyler shares the ups and downs of family life and the solutions he’s found through lengthy research and involvement in the industry and his own experiences to help parents everywhere. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn


It’s Not About The Money!

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise.

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAININ

 

GUESTS, Tyler Jacobson

Rules, Limits and Boundaries for Kids


2 Comments

Rules, limits and boundaries for kids. From birth to young adulthood, children need structure. This is not to say that every meal, activity, and thought needs to be regulated like a prison, but children do need some form of organization to their lives. Without boundaries ( limits )power struggles can occur as the children try to work out who exactly is in charge.

Kids are inexperienced and have no idea the long-term effects of, well, anything! Their mind is focused on the here and now. Instant gratification is the name of the game. So when it comes to boundaries, it’s up to the parents to lay down the law and help them plan for the future.

What can we as parents do? How much is too much?

Stay Off the Grass

Rules, limits and boundaries for kids
Rules, limits and boundaries for kids

“I won’t limit my child’s potential by placing limitations on him!” you may be thinking. Having rules, however, does not limit your child’s potential, but instead sets them up for life in the real world. When your son doesn’t know to recognize a “stay off the grass” sign, you end up with instances of children defacing national monuments and landmarks because they weren’t taught the proper respect or how to resist the urge to act destructively.

Rules, laws, and boundaries exist everywhere in life. By following rules at home, you actually teacthem how to behave as part of a society. They don’t need to march in lockstep as an unthinking herd, but they need to know that laws exist, and breaking them has consequences.
Even if you’re not comfortable setting up a strict household, there are a few essential guidelines to follow to get your child used to what they’ll experience in the world.

1. Create a list of rules.

Yes, you have to. They don’t have to be definitive laws that if broken will unleash the fury, but they do need to exist. Even if you’re not comfortable with setting rules, putting down just two or three to help guide them in their day-to-day behavior will go a long way.

2. Set consequences for breaking each rule.

Make sure the punishment fits the crime, and keep your discipline consistent. If you’re grounding them for missing curfew, don’t ground them for longer than the norm simply because you’re mad at the time the infraction happened. If a punishment can vary, make sure that’s laid out beforehand (i.e. curfew is at 10pm, and every 10 minutes you’re late you’re grounded an extra day).

3. Be consistent with limits.

The world will be, so you should too. Unless they have an excuse along the lines of “I was donating a kidney” then rules are the rules. You’re not off the hook either. Regardless if you’re exhausted after a long day, you have to make sure to maintain what you’ve set if you want to be taken seriously.
Only with some form of structure can children truly feel secure and confident in their home life, and you owe it to them to prepare them for the future as best you can.

Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and writer, with experience as a content writer and outreach coordinator for HelpYourTeenNow. He has offered honest advice and humor to struggling parents and teens. Tyler has researched and written on education problems, disorders, the world of social media, addiction, and pressing issues with raising a teen today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin.

 

Help Set Our Boundaries (limits), here is How.

Truth time: Manly Training Ministries is a full time job – on top of my Area Manager Job and being a husband and a Father! I easily put 30+ hours a week into creating the content for Manly Training– whether it’s dreaming up posts, creating art images, responding to emails and comments, and managing my social media feeds.

There are two ways to help me do this!

1) By donating directly through PayPal –>  Donate Button with Credit Cards

2) by joining me over at Patreon!

Patreon allows you to pledge as little as $1 a month, and in return you’ll get some pretty cool rewards, ranging from your name and blog on my MTM VIP page, exclusive content, and PODCAST VERSIONS of my posts!

MTM Won’t Change, I Promise. We Have Limits!

But don’t worry! MTM is still going to be EXACTLY what it is now — New Posts every Tuesday and new Podcasts every Monday. Patreon perks are simply that: extra perks!

I have big plans for Manly Training– including a book AND a YouTube channel.

Your pledge will help me continue to put the considerable time and effort into each and every post that makes Manly Training what it is.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I pray every day for each and every one of you who take the time to read my words. You are a blessing.

Thank You!

https://www.patreon.com/manlytraining



STAY CONNECTED BY EMAIL. CLICK HERE

© 2017 MANLY TRAININ