The Day I Learned About Adoption – Scared, Shocked, and Am I?
In elementary school, during recess, my friend, Cynthia, casually told me that she was adopted. That was the first time I had ever heard of the word, much less understand its meaning.
To this day I can recall the exact moment when I asked her what it meant. She explained that her “real” mom couldn’t keep her, “this mom and dad” adopted her. Not totally comprehending the situation, I remember first becoming sad, then scared, shocked, and uncertain about my status. “Could I be adopted?”
The rest of the school day, I could only think of running home to ask my mom to explain this adoption thing to me and more importantly to find out whether I had been adopted.
Learning about adoption was one of those monumental moments in my childhood.
The second I ran through the kitchen door, I burst into tears running toward my mom. Through the sobs, I tried to tell her about my friend, Cynthia, who told me that she was adopted. After some time, my mom calmed me down. She started by explaining how adoption works and how it is a wonderful thing for children. Naturally, my burning question was answered, I was not adopted. Nor, were my brother and sister, however, she was. And the sobbing resumed along with overwhelming disbelief and confusion. Suddenly my understanding and acceptance of concept of adoption, went out the door!
She explained it so beautifully and simply, as my mom always did. She said that it took a special man to accept a mother with four children—he was her father and he was my funny and caring grandfather. Whom I miss to this day.
Sharing this Story
I’ve never shared this story outside my family. But when I was invited to write about this by Eduardo Quintana, Founder of Manly Training, my gut accepted. It was a way to honor both my grandfather and my mother who are now together in heaven. And to acknowledge all those who were blessed to be a part of an adoption.
There are many opinions about when and how to tell a child that they are adopted. I do not presume to know. What I do find important is this, take into account the child’s personality, maturity, circumstances, opportunities (such as my experience), and what’s best for that child. Never allow convenience for the adult or a “get it over with” attitude guide your decision as to when and where to tell the child—that would be selfish. I am evidence that a child will carry that moment with them for the rest of their life.
I tilt my hat as a sign of respect and admiration to anyone who adopts a child. Thank you and God bless you. Especially to my grandfather, Luis. I love you.
Rosalinda Randall is a modern-day social skills and business etiquette expert/trainer, media source, author. She focuses on communicating and interacting more effectively and with a lot less drama.
Facebook: Rosalinda Randall
© 2017 Rosalinda Oropeza Randall
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