3 Reasons Your Church Needs Real Men
What does God say about that?
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother-which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Men, listen- The world may not think you are important, but in God’s eyes, we are precious and we have a job to do.
Let me share something with you that is shameful and just plain unacceptable.
Women outnumber men 3 to 1 in the church- unacceptable!
Because of this, women are doing the work of the men and are being the spiritual “fathers” to their children- unacceptable!
What’s even more shameful than that is the fact that women are going to church and the husbands and boyfriends are waiting at home for the family to return-unacceptable!
“Let your light shine before men…..”Men MUST rise up and be the men that God wants them to be. Ephesians puts it out there- Children, honor your parents. It does not say honor them only if they are perfect and you agree with them all the time. It says to honor them so that you have a life that is not always in chaos- that it may go well for you! Then it goes on to say: Fathers, do not exasperate your children, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. NLT- “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them, but bring them up with discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord”.
We are living in a culture that doesn’t know the role of men.
Unless men, take up their responsibility in the family and the church, we will lose a generation of kids. Let me say it again! UNLESS MEN, ALL OF US, TAKE UP OUR RESPONSIBILITY IN OUR FAMILIES AND OUR CHURCH, WE WILL LOSE A GENERATION OF KIDS.
NOW-A-DAYS, Kids are raising themselves without a father. Because of the alarming rate in divorce, there is a lack of fathers being involved in their kids lives. And then, there are those fathers who are putting so much emphasis on making a living that they are losing their kids emotionally and physically.
The way I see it, we have two choices, whether you have kids or not. We can live defeated and hopeless and think that the problem will go away on its own. Or else, we can model what God intended for us to be and make a difference in our kids and the kids we have contact with.
I am gullible enough to believe that a few good men filled with the Holy Spirit of God can impact people lives in a positive and spiritual way. And this is why I started this ministry. Manly Training exists to motivate and train men so we can be good husbands, good fathers, and we can be positive role models.
The culture today may not know what responsibility men play, but Godly men should not only know but live it daily for the world to see.
If you don’t think we can make a difference? Read a few quotes about fathers.
Jim Valvano- “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me.
Dan Pierce- The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking.
One of my favorite quotes is this:
Harmon Killebrew (HOF player for the Twins)- “My father use to play with my brother and me in the yard, mother would come out and say, your tearing up the grass. Were not raising grass, Dad would reply, we are raising boys.”
It is getting involved, rolling up your sleeves, making mistakes, making adjustments, and showing your family that they are important to you.
Reed Marham- “Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you will have to do it again tomorrow.”
So how do we do that? How do we raise our kids with the instruction of the Lord in a culture that has no problem turning its back on the things of God?
I have said it before- wisdom not applied is just storage of words.
This is how we can do it:
I. Men have to lead
We will never be able to lead our lives or the lives of our families without the Lord leading us.
Galatians 2:20- “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Christ guiding me and leading me!
In our families- “Husbands, love your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Men cannot afford to get hung up on “being the boss” We need to understand the responsibility that comes with the job. It is like driving on a road and it makes a sharp turn or dip so that the road is unseen and you have to trust that the people who made the road completed it even though you for a moment cannot see the road.
Leading is not running ahead of God or lagging behind but learning to let God lead you. It’s looking beyond circumstances at the purpose God intended for you.
Psalm 32:8- “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
When we refuse God’s leading:
- We are telling God we know better than He does.
- We are accusing God of being unjust/ unfair.
- We are questioning God’s ability to keep His promises (unbelief)
- We basically call God a liar.
- We have to learn to let God lead us.
II. We have to learn to lean
Emphasis on leaning on God. Not leaning on ourselves. Not on someone else and not keeping God as an afterthought.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.”
- Trust in the Lord for Salvation
- Trust in the Lord for Strength
- Trust in the Lord for Needs/ guidance
- Trust in the Lord for Our families
We men have a problem giving up control. We want to fix it, we want to make it happen! We don’t ask for directions until we are completely lost. Why do we do that?
James 1:5- “If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
This is one of the prayers that God will answer yes to every time. You learn to lean on Him and He will give you wisdom to do what is needed.
Frank Sinatra use to sing a song “My Way” The theme was “I did it my way” this is a good example of leaning on your own understanding and being wise in your own eyes. It is a recipe of disaster!
To lean is to rely on. But what many men say by their actions is that they rely on their own training and experience more than they rely on God. Is it any wonder we get ourselves spiritually in trouble? We have to learn to lead! We have to learn to lean on God!
III. We need to learn to love.
If you look behind you and no one is following, you are not leading anyone. The only way you lead people is loving the people that you are leading. The only way to properly love someone is to love them the way that the Lord loves them.
1 Corinthians 13:1 “If I speak in the tongue of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”
If I do not love like God loves, I am just making some noise. God leads us to love our wife’s, to love our children, to love God’s people, and to love the lost as God loves them. It goes deeper than looks, deeper than when it is convenient.
A man was talking to his wife after she had done something that he did not approve of. He said to her, how can you be so beautiful and stupid at the same time? She replied, God made me beautiful so you would love me, and he made me stupid so I would love you.”
Listen to me! The most important thing we can do is love God and love people. Before we can love anyone, we have to experience God’s love because you cannot give away something you don’t have.
Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. It seems like a simple Sunday school lesson, but most people do not understand how much God loves them because if they did, they would act differently.
When you know and understand God loves you, and God forgives you, and you know that you have a purpose, then you will love differently and you will treat people differently.
That is a portrait of a Godly man. You will love your wife, You will love your children, You will love God’s people! You will love differently once you have experienced God’s love in the right way.
So why is it then that the church needs Real Men? Well, first of all, let’s define a Real Man as a man that knows God. I don’t mean that he not knows ABOUT God, but he is actually making a daily effort to know God and understands God’s design for his life. A man like this lives a life that honors God as he leads his family by example. He leans on God and not on his own efforts or on things like money and education and power. Such a man will find that in living his life surrendered to God and pursuing to know God, he will then LOVE his family and his neighbors in such a way that he will leave a lasting legacy to his loved ones.
What do you think would happen if your church had one or two men like this? Now imagine having ten or fifty or one hundred men that lived their life this way. Jesus had his group of 12 men. He took time to teach them and show them this principle. One betrayed him because he leaned on his love of money and not on knowing God and His power. The other eleven men went on to change the world as we know it. Will you be like Judas or will you be like the other eleven men? Chose now, the world needs a revival. I an convinced that the next big revival needs to start with the men. This is why we need Real Men in our Churches.
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