Being a dad is awesome! But if you approach it as one more thing on your to do list, I can guarantee that it will not be very fun for you. There are so many benefits to being a dad.
Things that you and your child can look forward to on a daily basis. Learn to be a good dad by understanding how our father in heaven is a good dad to us. Then, your eagerness to be a good dad will fill your child with everything he needs. When you and your child know that you care about each other and love each other the way God designed it, your lives will be filled with unspeakable joy!
Your children will grow up and they will start to pull away from you. When that happens they will begin to be shaped by their friends and the culture around them. As they grow up and start slipping away from you, you will worry over there well-being. We can’t stop them, but we can definitely teach them to make the right choices. We can lay a foundation for them by teaching them God’s word and then making sure they feel loved so they don’t reach out for recognition in ways that can harm them. And when they come to those situations in life when they don’t know what to do, we will know for sure that they will feel confident in the fact that we have created a relationship that is open and inviting. In this way they will know to seek refuge and council with you and in the same way with their Heavenly Father.
There’s really nothing you can do about your own childhood. There’s no way to go back and undo what’s been done. There’s no way to take back what has been said or to live those things you didn’t live. Hollywood makes tons of money making movies that exploit this sentiment. But it’s fantasy, and the reality is that it cannot be done. Nevertheless, you are very fortunate! You can make sure that your children have the father that they deserves to have. You have been given a chance to do it differently. This time with your own children and you need to do it better, you need to do it right! So I challenge you to make a list of things that you want to do more with them. And then, start doing it.
Human tendency is to repeat the things that we have seen our own fathers do or say and to put our expectations over those things. I urge you not to repeat this mistake that your own father made. By being a better father to your child or children, you are also being blessed. A blessing that will heal the disappointments of your own childhood. As your life becomes more gratifying, as you become filled with love, you will find that a lifetime of resentment towards your own father will begin to appear less significant. You won’t need to be angry any longer because your life will feel fulfilled.
Stop wasting time and by all means stop blaming yourself for what you have or have not done with your children up until now. If you have not built a close relationship with your children, you will probably feel distant and helpless. The good news is that it is not too late to do it right. Your job as a father is to nurture your children and to help them reach their fullest potential. And in exchange, you will be presented with the opportunity to be a better person. Take advantage of that!
[A special thanks to my long time friend Daniel Hansen who took the photo you see on this post. He tells me this beautiful place is near his house and that he and his wife will go walking there].
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