Teaching Our Sons They Can’t Always Expect To Succeed – Tyler Jacobson
Teaching Our Sons They Can’t Always Expect To Succeed
Encouraging our boys to be whatever they want to be is as second-nature as making sure they eat their vegetables. As they get older, we want to continue that encouragement. As adults, however, we’ve experienced what the world has to throw at us. We know that curve balls can come from anywhere.
The encouragement is important for their confidence, but it’s a cruel fact of life that no one always gets everything they want. Just as it’s important to teach our sons proper sportsmanship and how to lose a game with grace, so too is it vital they learn how to recover from disappointment and set realistic expectations.
Goals: Quality Over Quantity
We want to help our sons set realistic goals, but how do we do that? In order to ensure we’re setting them up for success rather than unintentionally destroying their spirit (they get enough of that from social media), it’s important to keep a few things in mind.
Make the goals attainable.
There was a belief once that still crops up in schools or the workplace (and has been adopted by parents) that if you set an impossibly high goal, you’re giving your children something to strive for. They’ll work that much harder, and even if they fail, they still would’ve achieved a lot.
Unfortunately, this has been proven to be not quite true. Instead of overworking them toward an unattainable goal, keeping a series of goals building towards a greater achievement has proven to be far more effective and beneficial toward not only their productivity, but also their confidence and sense of accomplishment.
Talk to them.
Despite their need for independence as they get older, your opinion still matters. When goals are set and not met for whatever reason, it’s a particularly sensitive time and when you need to step up your support game. They don’t need to be coddled, but neither should you get wrapped up in disappointment and berate them.
When said out of context it can seem harsh, but many parents get so caught up in the hopes for their son that failure can frustrate, blinding them to what’s really important.
Set Goals, Make A Plan, See It Through
When talking things over with your boy, make sure he understands the need to not only be realistic, but to commit. The need to arrange goals into a plan and follow through are important, but this is where he learns the core skills to get him through adulthood.
Hard work, perseverance, and stress management from either rejection or pushing through limitations are all vital skills everyone should learn. With your help, they can succeed and be the best they can be.
Tyler Jacobson is a father, husband, and writer, with experience as a content writer and outreach coordinator for HelpYourTeenNow. Tyler has offered honest advice and humor to struggling parents and teens. Tyler has researched and written on education problems, disorders, the world of social media, addiction, and pressing issues with raising a teen today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | Linkedin
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